Respectfully offering a speaking class to employee?
January 28, 2015 7:30 PM Subscribe
I have a great employee and friend who needs to give trainings, and he umms, speaks too fast, and stumbles. I think he'd really benefit from a speaking course, but he tends to take things very personally. How do I offer/suggest this to minimize hurt feelings?
I've mentioned this in reviews but he gets a bit defensive. He's so good otherwise that I feel this is a real Achilles heel. We're a small company and I need this person to get better at this for all our sakes. We also deal a lot with non-native English speakers and they really need him to slow down and enunciate, but more general help at slowing down and being authoritative and confident is needed too. Thoughts on how to approach? Bonus question, are these classes crap and I shouldn't bother? This isn't about giving motivational speeches in hotel ballrooms - just giving trainings and technical, informational talks to groups of 3 or 10 or 15.
I've mentioned this in reviews but he gets a bit defensive. He's so good otherwise that I feel this is a real Achilles heel. We're a small company and I need this person to get better at this for all our sakes. We also deal a lot with non-native English speakers and they really need him to slow down and enunciate, but more general help at slowing down and being authoritative and confident is needed too. Thoughts on how to approach? Bonus question, are these classes crap and I shouldn't bother? This isn't about giving motivational speeches in hotel ballrooms - just giving trainings and technical, informational talks to groups of 3 or 10 or 15.
He's an employee and this is what is needed for him to succeed in this role. The fact that he takes it personally is sort of not your problem. I might couch it as professional development, but I would tell him that you need him to take a public speaking course to skill up for his job, and then I'd bring in someone to train him on company time.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:39 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 7:39 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
However you phrase it, the underlying emotion and message should be, "You are awesome and here's how we're going to ensure you get even more awesome."
posted by jaguar at 7:47 PM on January 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 7:47 PM on January 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
Or, basically: This is how we're going to get you a promotion.
posted by jaguar at 7:48 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 7:48 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
"I've arranged for you to take [class] on [date] because it will help you improve [skill] ,which will not only help you with this job but will also serve you well throughout your career. Thanks!"
posted by gatorae at 7:49 PM on January 28, 2015
posted by gatorae at 7:49 PM on January 28, 2015
Response by poster: I don't want to threadsit too much but to clarify, this is a 14 employee company, and this person is nominally my report, but we act as peers day-to-day and share an office. Typing it out makes me realize how dysfunctional that might sound but it's working great and I won't like to actually decree things unless I have to (which occasionally happens).
posted by ftm at 7:50 PM on January 28, 2015
posted by ftm at 7:50 PM on January 28, 2015
Can you frame it more like "the whole company wants to entrust more responsibility to you, because you are excellent [in areas 1,2,3], so we want you to specialize for us. We're going to pay for you to go to these classes to become our best trainer."
posted by Mizu at 7:59 PM on January 28, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Mizu at 7:59 PM on January 28, 2015 [12 favorites]
I'd suggest focusing on how public speaking in a professional setting is a highly valued skill that many people put lots of time and effort into continually improving. Don't mention specifics like "he talks too fast and stumbles," which are more likely to be taken personally. Talk about how he has a tough task in giving these training sessions, especially to non-native English speakers, and extra professional development in public speaking would help him do even better at the job he is, overall, excelling at.
posted by banal retentive at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by banal retentive at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
You're offering free training?
Free training that is relevant to the actual work being done?
Sweet as. Call it an opportunity, listen to jaguar and you're golden.
posted by pompomtom at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Free training that is relevant to the actual work being done?
Sweet as. Call it an opportunity, listen to jaguar and you're golden.
posted by pompomtom at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Why does he get defensive? Does he think he's a great speaker? Does he know he's a bad speaker but think it's not something he should have to do as part of his job? Or does he agree in principle but then just get defensive on the details? If you ask him to self-assess what "soft skills" he could improve does he list public speaking?
Assuming he's not deluded, I'd pitch the class as a chance to get coaching from someone else, since it's (1) a big benefit to the company and his own skill set and (2) something he doesn't like discussing with you. The exact tone can depend on your relationship.
As to whether the classes help--they won't, not magically. It takes lots of practice. Best you're hoping for is they convince him it's something he should improve and that there's a way to get better.
posted by mark k at 8:04 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Assuming he's not deluded, I'd pitch the class as a chance to get coaching from someone else, since it's (1) a big benefit to the company and his own skill set and (2) something he doesn't like discussing with you. The exact tone can depend on your relationship.
As to whether the classes help--they won't, not magically. It takes lots of practice. Best you're hoping for is they convince him it's something he should improve and that there's a way to get better.
posted by mark k at 8:04 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: He takes things very personally and as attacks in general. It sounds like a bad flaw and it is but it's in contrast to a generally great attitude, so much so that it's worth my effort to work around.
Verging on threadsitting now, will lean back, thanks y'all.
posted by ftm at 8:07 PM on January 28, 2015
Verging on threadsitting now, will lean back, thanks y'all.
posted by ftm at 8:07 PM on January 28, 2015
OK, then you or your supervisor needs a certification in order to give him a raise or promotion, so here's this great class that will give him that certification.
If you are unable to show him that this class will give him a raise or promotion, especially if your difficulty is that this class will not get him a raise or promotion, then your issue is different and you should concentrate on how to convince your management that your friend deserves a raise or promotion for taking this class.
posted by jaguar at 8:34 PM on January 28, 2015
If you are unable to show him that this class will give him a raise or promotion, especially if your difficulty is that this class will not get him a raise or promotion, then your issue is different and you should concentrate on how to convince your management that your friend deserves a raise or promotion for taking this class.
posted by jaguar at 8:34 PM on January 28, 2015
Your coworker/friend needs Toastmasters. It is a great place to learn speaking skills in a non-judgmental, friendly, and fun way. Maybe you can try to encourage him to go with you sometime? It might help if you go to a few first and then slip into conversation how interesting and useful they are. Maybe offer to buy him a drink or dinner after to sweeten the pot.
posted by joan_holloway at 8:50 PM on January 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by joan_holloway at 8:50 PM on January 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Seconding Toastmasters, you could join it together.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 8:58 PM on January 28, 2015
posted by Confess, Fletch at 8:58 PM on January 28, 2015
Thirding Toastmasters. It's potentially a friendlier way to work on communication skills than a class, and has a couple of other benefits: there are likely local clubs meeting weekly (no need to wait for a class start date), and no need to stop after a six week (or whatever) class is finished. Speaking skills really benefit from ongoing practice, and Toastmasters is a great way to get it. Meetings are usually pretty entertaining since everyone's got different goals, problems, and interests, so speech topics are varied.
posted by asperity at 9:01 PM on January 28, 2015
posted by asperity at 9:01 PM on January 28, 2015
For a minute I was worried this question might've been about me. I too know I talk too fast, and it can affect my job (that I'm otherwise decently good at!). And yeah, I get a little defensive about it at times. But if someone else who I considered a peer/friend who had enough authority could set this up and just tell me "Hey - I've got you enrolled in this [opportunity that'll help him] next month, don't worry about [the normal stuff he has to do]", I'd be all over that. Any work training that comes paid for, could help in my future endeavours, and can be done during normal work hours without the hassle to catch up in a huge win for me. Try and sell it that way.
posted by cgg at 9:07 PM on January 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by cgg at 9:07 PM on January 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
You really have to be a manager, here. Even if he's not comfortable with feedback; even if you're not 100% ok with being not-his-bestie for five minutes.
"You're fantastic at [organizing the material and presenting it in a relatable way, creating a good atmosphere / rapport with trainees, troubleshooting hiccups, etc]. The thing is, our non-native English speaking trainees sometimes have a hard time following you. So we need you to enunciate more clearly and slow down your pace, and take charge in a bit more of an obvious way. Again, we believe in you. That's why we want to invest in you. So we'd like you to take this course." Those are just facts. Smile when you say them, deliver them in an attitude of support, as jaguar said, for sure. But ultimately, you're not responsible for his state of mind (although you are responsible for those trainees understanding the material).
I don't think dangling the carrot of a promotion is necessary - this is his existing job, and there are areas in which he needs improvement. A certificate he could take with him anywhere, though, would be a win-win. There are certs in Adult Education / Training and Development. Most of them are modular and include courses in public speaking and presentation. He should start with those, if possible.
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:12 PM on January 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
"You're fantastic at [organizing the material and presenting it in a relatable way, creating a good atmosphere / rapport with trainees, troubleshooting hiccups, etc]. The thing is, our non-native English speaking trainees sometimes have a hard time following you. So we need you to enunciate more clearly and slow down your pace, and take charge in a bit more of an obvious way. Again, we believe in you. That's why we want to invest in you. So we'd like you to take this course." Those are just facts. Smile when you say them, deliver them in an attitude of support, as jaguar said, for sure. But ultimately, you're not responsible for his state of mind (although you are responsible for those trainees understanding the material).
I don't think dangling the carrot of a promotion is necessary - this is his existing job, and there are areas in which he needs improvement. A certificate he could take with him anywhere, though, would be a win-win. There are certs in Adult Education / Training and Development. Most of them are modular and include courses in public speaking and presentation. He should start with those, if possible.
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:12 PM on January 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Long ago in grad school, I was tasked to make some instructional videos related to the class I was TAing.
Lemme tellya, nothing will encourage a person to work on their speaking and presentation skills like watching themself give a presentation on video.
I'd suggest you come up with some reason why he needs to make some videos of himself. For training, or whatever. Make sure he has to review and edit everything. I'll bet you a dollar that he'll be at your door inside of a week, asking if he can get some training.
posted by doctor tough love at 9:29 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Lemme tellya, nothing will encourage a person to work on their speaking and presentation skills like watching themself give a presentation on video.
I'd suggest you come up with some reason why he needs to make some videos of himself. For training, or whatever. Make sure he has to review and edit everything. I'll bet you a dollar that he'll be at your door inside of a week, asking if he can get some training.
posted by doctor tough love at 9:29 PM on January 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
If you really have to play games to get him to do this training (and generally I agree with others saying it should simply be mandatory, but I understand the interpersonal barriers you are dealing with), can you arrange for a number of staff to do the training at the same time? Very few people can't benefit from improving their public speaking skills, so it wouldn't necessarily be wasted - maybe identify those who most frequently deliver and send them all.
As far as your bonus question goes, my experience is that most basic training courses in this area are pretty poor, especially for people who are resistant to learn. 'Coaching' rather than 'training' may be more effective in this case, as it can be tailored to meet any specific needs and a good trainer will be able to work with the defensiveness to make sure he actually gets the benefit.
posted by dg at 9:54 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
As far as your bonus question goes, my experience is that most basic training courses in this area are pretty poor, especially for people who are resistant to learn. 'Coaching' rather than 'training' may be more effective in this case, as it can be tailored to meet any specific needs and a good trainer will be able to work with the defensiveness to make sure he actually gets the benefit.
posted by dg at 9:54 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was going to say what dr tough love said. Tell him you want to record a session for the benefit of someone who can't be there. It will open his eyes I bet.
posted by KateViolet at 10:02 PM on January 28, 2015
posted by KateViolet at 10:02 PM on January 28, 2015
Your employee's problem isn't that they speak too fast, it is that they haven't grasped that presentations are about performance, about engaging with the audience and telling a story. They have not understood the power of pacing and the pause. They are so concerned with projecting the information that they are not thinking about how how their presentation is actually received and whether the listener has time to digest it.
Rather than sending your employee to training, bring a trainer in and work with all your employees who deal with clients or coworkers. Your particular employee can then receive specialised feedback and practice without feeling singled out. Wins all round.
posted by Kerasia at 11:06 PM on January 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Rather than sending your employee to training, bring a trainer in and work with all your employees who deal with clients or coworkers. Your particular employee can then receive specialised feedback and practice without feeling singled out. Wins all round.
posted by Kerasia at 11:06 PM on January 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Seconding bringing in a trainer to the office. At my company every so often they will hire someone to come in and spend a day training the managers on public speaking skills. This is a win for everyone because no one gets singled out as the one who needs the training and you can make it on company time, everyone goes, and it's good career development too. Good luck!
posted by FireFountain at 6:01 AM on January 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by FireFountain at 6:01 AM on January 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I disagree with the suggestion for Toastmasters, as it's a volunteer (read: free) type of event that he could easily skip (especially if you are trying to convince him to go to an after-work-hours meeting), rather than one that you could require him to go to.
Years ago I took a couple of Dale Carnegie courses. They were about $1K at the time, but worth their weight in GOLD as far as learning to speak in professional settings. Look for something like that.
Frame it like this: "A few employees will be taking courses from ABC Business Course School. We're scheduling your course to occur in March." Boom, no choice (and, to be clear, everytime I've had to take a similar professional development course it was just scheduled for me that way, again, the expectation was that I would go, no questions). Maybe one or two other employees do actually attend the course, maybe they don't. Even if he gets cheesed about it, from a professional standpoint, it's none of his business what development other employees take.
posted by vignettist at 11:30 AM on January 29, 2015
Years ago I took a couple of Dale Carnegie courses. They were about $1K at the time, but worth their weight in GOLD as far as learning to speak in professional settings. Look for something like that.
Frame it like this: "A few employees will be taking courses from ABC Business Course School. We're scheduling your course to occur in March." Boom, no choice (and, to be clear, everytime I've had to take a similar professional development course it was just scheduled for me that way, again, the expectation was that I would go, no questions). Maybe one or two other employees do actually attend the course, maybe they don't. Even if he gets cheesed about it, from a professional standpoint, it's none of his business what development other employees take.
posted by vignettist at 11:30 AM on January 29, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:35 PM on January 28, 2015 [7 favorites]