Coping with the new job panic
January 8, 2015 1:29 AM Subscribe
I am two months into a new job in a large corporate in a completely different industry to my professional background and am having the 'new job struggle'. Having accepted that it could take at least six months to start feeling settled in (e.g. see answers to similar question suggesting this as a timeframe), how do I actually cope it with it on a day to day basis?
My rational decision is that I will try to stop worrying whether I do or don't like the job and whether I'm any good at it until I have been there for at least six months.
But every day, I feel like I should be throwing myself into the work, but feel exhausted and stressed, and while meeting basic deadlines, can't seem to feel a real sense of urgency for my work. Meanwhile my boss is running at a million miles an hour - my boss is based in a different state to me and there are currently no other people in my team, so although I have some friendly people sitting near me, I don't have any other team members to help me sort out what is happening. Our team's work is a completely new function so nothing is established.
What are some tactics to push through feeling somewhat overwhelmed and like an idiot for eight hours a day for months?
My rational decision is that I will try to stop worrying whether I do or don't like the job and whether I'm any good at it until I have been there for at least six months.
But every day, I feel like I should be throwing myself into the work, but feel exhausted and stressed, and while meeting basic deadlines, can't seem to feel a real sense of urgency for my work. Meanwhile my boss is running at a million miles an hour - my boss is based in a different state to me and there are currently no other people in my team, so although I have some friendly people sitting near me, I don't have any other team members to help me sort out what is happening. Our team's work is a completely new function so nothing is established.
What are some tactics to push through feeling somewhat overwhelmed and like an idiot for eight hours a day for months?
Best answer: I am three months into a very similar situation (except my boss is on site). SOLIDARITY. It's hard. I have no magic solution, but here are some things I've been trying to do:
-Really embrace that work is all about learning right now (while trying my best to deliver work that is useful to my team and company). When I get frustrated or panicked that I made ANOTHER mistake or didn't know YET ANOTHER background fact or process, I try acknowledge that this experience is setting me up to do better/have that information at hand next time.
-Remind myself that they hired me for a reason and that I have skills and attributes that are useful and which will become more valuable in the new position over time. (This reflects poorly on my character and maturity, but during a few low points I've been known to re-read my references and LinkedIn recommendations for a boost...)
-If possible, and this may be difficult with a remote supervisor, set up regular check-ins with your boss. This can give you a good outside perspective on your work (you may be evaluating yourself more harshly than others would) and also the opportunity to ask questions/get clear direction on your work.
-Get validation outside of work. For the first month/six weeks or so, I was so exhausted I was basically working/going home/doing the most basic of chores/sleeping. I realized I needed to prioritize spending time with people who know me outside of the role of the confused new kid, so I started making more time and finding the energy to see friends, reconnect with former coworkers, etc.
-Maybe relevant to you, maybe not: starting the new gig threw off my routine badly, including exercise (or insert the healthy habit/self-care thing of your choice). I recently started trying to manage at least 1-2 workouts a week, because that helps with mood and stress for me. (Caveat: I'm trying to be careful not to set this up as another thing I can feel like I am "messing up." So right now I'm just being very casual, no set goal, just fitting in what I can.)
Good luck and I FEEL YOU. I do think that even if six months is the "feeling settled" timeframe, it'll get better throughout that time period. I feel a lot more confident than I did even a month ago (still a long way from fantastically competent, but at least I'm starting to feel like I'm contributing something other than chaos and comic relief...)
posted by hilatron at 4:19 AM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
-Really embrace that work is all about learning right now (while trying my best to deliver work that is useful to my team and company). When I get frustrated or panicked that I made ANOTHER mistake or didn't know YET ANOTHER background fact or process, I try acknowledge that this experience is setting me up to do better/have that information at hand next time.
-Remind myself that they hired me for a reason and that I have skills and attributes that are useful and which will become more valuable in the new position over time. (This reflects poorly on my character and maturity, but during a few low points I've been known to re-read my references and LinkedIn recommendations for a boost...)
-If possible, and this may be difficult with a remote supervisor, set up regular check-ins with your boss. This can give you a good outside perspective on your work (you may be evaluating yourself more harshly than others would) and also the opportunity to ask questions/get clear direction on your work.
-Get validation outside of work. For the first month/six weeks or so, I was so exhausted I was basically working/going home/doing the most basic of chores/sleeping. I realized I needed to prioritize spending time with people who know me outside of the role of the confused new kid, so I started making more time and finding the energy to see friends, reconnect with former coworkers, etc.
-Maybe relevant to you, maybe not: starting the new gig threw off my routine badly, including exercise (or insert the healthy habit/self-care thing of your choice). I recently started trying to manage at least 1-2 workouts a week, because that helps with mood and stress for me. (Caveat: I'm trying to be careful not to set this up as another thing I can feel like I am "messing up." So right now I'm just being very casual, no set goal, just fitting in what I can.)
Good luck and I FEEL YOU. I do think that even if six months is the "feeling settled" timeframe, it'll get better throughout that time period. I feel a lot more confident than I did even a month ago (still a long way from fantastically competent, but at least I'm starting to feel like I'm contributing something other than chaos and comic relief...)
posted by hilatron at 4:19 AM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think any new, immersive situation (living in a new country, new job, new relationship, etc) will have a predictable set of ups and downs, even when it is great with no real problems. I have seen the emotional highs and lows charted for living in another culture and for relationships -- at first it is exciting and new and you feel great, then you hit some normal stumbling points and feel low, etc -- but not for jobs, but my experience is that the cycle is exactly the same.
You are at a low moment (especially compared to the high of "wow I just got hired for an amazing job!" just a couple of months ago), and as you say the only path is forward. I also suspect that it is in the solving of the minor issues (eg communication of expectations with your boss; the creation of a new team; etc) that produces the next emotional up time, so every incremental step you take towards improving the day to day situation is helping to get you there.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:25 AM on January 8, 2015
You are at a low moment (especially compared to the high of "wow I just got hired for an amazing job!" just a couple of months ago), and as you say the only path is forward. I also suspect that it is in the solving of the minor issues (eg communication of expectations with your boss; the creation of a new team; etc) that produces the next emotional up time, so every incremental step you take towards improving the day to day situation is helping to get you there.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:25 AM on January 8, 2015
Two months into a new position, you shouldn't be running a million miles an hour just yet. It takes a good long time to get to a place where you'll be running from deadline to deadline, because you still need to be in a learning phase. Take the non-urgency as the opportunity it is...to learn new things, to try new solutions, and to make some mistakes.
posted by xingcat at 6:36 AM on January 8, 2015
posted by xingcat at 6:36 AM on January 8, 2015
One thing that really helped me early on in a new job was hearing from my boss that she was happy that she hired me and liked my work. Getting that validation that I was doing a good job and meeting expectations helped calm some of those worries about not performing well or doing the right things. Now, you may not be able to get that kind of validation, and ideally you wouldn't need it from someone else, but you could ask your boss how they feel about your performance and whether there is anything they are expecting that you're not doing.
posted by chickenmagazine at 6:41 AM on January 8, 2015
posted by chickenmagazine at 6:41 AM on January 8, 2015
Response by poster: Thank you all - Friday was a shocker, so it was great to have some Metafilter solidarity.
posted by AnnaRat at 12:29 PM on January 9, 2015
posted by AnnaRat at 12:29 PM on January 9, 2015
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So I guess I'm saying hang in there? And definitely don't be too hard on yourself. My work is a big part of my identity, so struggling caused me all kinds of anxiety and self-doubt. I wish I would have just followed the classic mom advice: Just do the best you can.
The thing that helped me cope best was a quick conversation with my supervisor about his priorities. Which aspects of my job help him the most? What other things are helpful but not life-or-death?Sounds like your boss is crazy busy like mine, so I know that just getting a chance to have this conversation can take a long time. While you wait for this to happen, try to make a list of what you see as your on-going duties so you have a clear understanding of what you view as your job before you have the priorities discussion.
Good luck!
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 4:05 AM on January 8, 2015