I do love your head butts... but I've got stuff to do
November 18, 2014 10:43 AM   Subscribe

My little kitty Binky has grown really needy over the last few days and I have no idea what's going on with her!

She's always been a "typical" cat... meows for food, enjoys head rubs, sleeps in the bed on occasion and loves curling up on a lap when she's in the mood. However, I've noticed a shift in her behavior over the last couple of weeks whereby she's become increasingly more vocal and she's seeking out physical touch a lot more frequently.

Just for reference, if I sit down to have a cup of tea, the next thing I know- there she is, on my lap snuggling and making puddings, getting ready for a lie down. She has also started following me around the house. I’ll go upstairs for a shower and I’ll open the door to find Mrs Binkleton sitting outside, patiently waiting for me to come out. I’ll be in the kitchen washing up and I’ll turn around and almost step on her because she’s snuck up behind me and is just sitting there looking at me, and so on and so on….

For a bit of background, we moved into a new home in March this year and she has adjusted really well after the obligatory 2 day “WTF WHERE AM I???” phase.
She is now allowed to go outside into our back garden in short supervised bursts, she’s eating well, sleeping well – she seems totally normal, I just can’t seem to understand why she’s become so needy all of a sudden.

We had been away on a week-long vacation in late October, but we had a family member house-sit for us, so Binky wasn’t alone at all while we were away. We decorated our second bedroom this weekend which meant a few boxes were out in the hallway. I wondered if she thought we might be moving again, but the clingy behavior started before this.
I’m starting to think she might be lonely and need a companion cat. This IS on the agenda for us but for logistical reasons that won’t happen, at least not for the next 6 months or so.

So my question is really, has this happened to anyone else and how do you deal with it? I don’t want to encourage the neediness too much, but my goodness, I do enjoy her head butts – I just can’t deal with them constantly! Help me!
posted by JenThePro to Pets & Animals (16 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Has it gotten cold where you live? My cats' behavior definitely changes with the seasons. They are always much cuddlier then it's cold.
posted by something something at 10:49 AM on November 18, 2014 [9 favorites]


JenThePro: "We had been away on a week-long vacation in late October, but we had a family member house-sit for us, so Binky wasn’t alone at all while we were away. We decorated our second bedroom this weekend which meant a few boxes were out in the hallway. I wondered if she thought we might be moving again, but the clingy behavior started before this."

Any of this would be reason enough for my cats to start freaking out and behaving weirdly and unpredictably for several weeks. With one of our previous cats, if we were taking a vacation, we couldn't bring the suitcases out of the closet until just a few hours before we were leaving the house, or he would pee in them.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:53 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


Is she spayed? My first thought that she might be coming in to heat. That definitely makes cats more vocal.

But the fact that you've been away seems a more likely cause. She probably just missed you!

Just make sure she's all up to date on her vaccs, flea and worm treatments to be on the safe side, in case she's wormy and begging for food is what this is.
posted by mymbleth at 11:04 AM on November 18, 2014


Seconding changes in temperature, as cats are just little heat-seeking fur-missles. Even if the seasons haven't changed much, is this house draftier/kept cooler/shadier than your former home? If there's no sunbeams about, the cat is gonna settle for human bellies.

If it definitely isn't cold or just relatively colder there, how old is she? My cat underwent a behavioral shift when she turned about 6ish, and after several vet visits with clean bills of health, we determined she must just be settling into her middle-aged ladycat ways.

In our case she got a little less snuggly but definitely more vocal, and more prone to following us around the house. We actually suspect that the less-snuggly change might have come from moving to a house with adequate heat and insulation--she just doesn't need us to stay toasty anymore!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:09 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


We had been away on a week-long vacation in late October, but we had a family member house-sit for us, so Binky wasn’t alone at all while we were away.

Yeah, she really, really missed you and is deep into the 'maybe I didn't purr enough' sector of the blaming herself component of the reattachment cycle.

Don't be surprised if this is succeeded at some point by 'how could you?' standoffishness and injured pride once she's convinced herself you're not going anywhere.
posted by jamjam at 11:13 AM on November 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


My cats were definitely not snuggly this summer (the first summer we've had them) but are now wanting their muzz scratched, naps on laps, and mewing more for us to settle down on the couch to resume the above. My real reason for posting, though, is to say that "Mrs. Binkleton" is probably one of the finest cat names I have ever heard.
posted by thefang at 11:32 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Response by poster: To answer questions - she'll be 4 in March and we'll have had her for 3 years in February.
We've also been on many vacations before and she's NEVER acted this way! Perhaps this most recent one sent her over the edge?

And weirdly enough, yes the weather has changed, it's much colder now, but our new home is MUCH warmer than our previous Condo.

SIGH..... I'm not really complaining, I'm just trying my best to understand the little fur-baby.... which is foolish I know!
posted by JenThePro at 11:41 AM on November 18, 2014


I don't want to alarm you, but could she be in pain? One of my cats wanted head rubs constantly just before he died unexpectedly (NOT THAT THIS IS WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR CAT!). I found out later this can be a sign of pain. You might call your vet with the information you gave above and see if they think a checkup might be in order.
posted by auntie maim at 11:46 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


JenThePro: "We've also been on many vacations before and she's NEVER acted this way! Perhaps this most recent one sent her over the edge?"

Maybe. Our little luggage pisser wasn't always that way, he just got fed up with our globetrotting at some point. If it's your first vacation since moving, or your first vacation with a live-in petsitter, those are completely new and different things in her mind.

Also, it is traditional, though by no means obligatory, that questions about pets include links to photos of said companion animals.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:02 PM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Your new home might seem much warmer to you, but is it much warmer to your cat? Get down on the floor and check it out. Heat rises, and all that. The surfaces where your cat wants to do cat things might not retain heat as well.
posted by Mizu at 12:04 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Agree with auntie maim that maybe a vet check is in order. My dog got really anxious and needy and was always planted firmly in my lap right around the time that his allergies got really bad. The vet said he was just looking for any type of comfort since he was so uncomfortable.
posted by radioamy at 12:11 PM on November 18, 2014


If a visit to the vet doesn't reveal any issues, and the house is warm enough, then maybe Binky's one of those cats who get more affectionate with age.

My Virgil's like that as well. As a kitten he was more playful than sweet, but once he turned two years old he became a total love bug. He'd greet me by flopping down and offering his belly while meowing at me, talks to me often, and will often rear up on his hind feet and thrust his head into my hand to show he wants petting. He also brings me toy mice when he wants to play.
posted by starbreaker at 12:55 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Cats are weird little buggers. Our Mollycat goes through spells of being very vocal and insisting on sitting on me at every possible opportunity. (Is Binky calico, by any chance?)
posted by sarcasticah at 3:28 PM on November 18, 2014


Is she spayed? Has she been to the vet lately? She could be in pain.

From Jackson Galaxy, it would appear that companion cats aren't necessary, and in this case would probably actually cause Binky more stress. You just need to take time out of your day to play with her to the point of exhaustion (best toy: Da Bird) and make sure she has plenty of places to chill that are close to where you are. Does she have elevated resting perches in all the socially significant areas of the house?

She's stressed out because she thinks you abandoned her, so you need to make it clear that you haven't by giving her places to be that are the same places as you are, but out of your way so you can carry on with your own stuff.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:46 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Do you have radiators? Radiator knocking and kitty headbuttting are directly correlated in my household.
posted by oflinkey at 3:58 PM on November 18, 2014


She may be bored. Try playing with her. Get a little toy mouse on a string and whip it around for her. If you can get her chasing it around and she works off some energy, she may settle down a bit.

If you have a space heater, switch it on. I guarantee she'll pass out beside it for hours at a time and give you a rest.

Also, when you say she goes out to the backyard, is it fenced in so she can't get out? I'm one of those nags who always has to remind people that indoor/outdoor cats generally live much shorter lives than purely indoor cats.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:27 PM on November 18, 2014


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