Best things to bring to chemo appointment?
October 23, 2014 1:43 PM Subscribe
I'll be accompanying my mother-in-law to her first chemo appointment tomorrow. What can I bring her to make the experience as comfortable as possible for her?
I'm not sure how long we'll be there, but I'm assuming at least a few hours. I have zero experience with how these infusions work. Is there anything I can bring my MIL to make her more comfortable while we're there or immediately after?
Also, any suggestions for things to entertain / distract her? She has a very short attention span for focusing on anything these days, so reading or anything else requiring concentration is no good. I have a laptop and an iPhone for video, but she won't really sit and watch TV shows or movies. Showing her photos on my phone has been a good distraction in the past. I'm stumped beyond that though!
I'm not sure how long we'll be there, but I'm assuming at least a few hours. I have zero experience with how these infusions work. Is there anything I can bring my MIL to make her more comfortable while we're there or immediately after?
Also, any suggestions for things to entertain / distract her? She has a very short attention span for focusing on anything these days, so reading or anything else requiring concentration is no good. I have a laptop and an iPhone for video, but she won't really sit and watch TV shows or movies. Showing her photos on my phone has been a good distraction in the past. I'm stumped beyond that though!
Best answer: How about games? My mom and grandmother both will sit and stare at their ipads for hours playing games. Angry Birds is a big hit with gram, mom likes those terrible freemium crop planting games, etc. Maybe hand her that on the phone and see if she's into it? You can read a book or something while she's playing. Words with Friends could be good, she could play on the phone and you on the laptop. Or take a deck of cards and play card games, or an Uno deck...just something kind of light and distracting.
My mom didn't have to get chemo but when she was going through radiation therapy she said having ice packs at the ready was a godsend. Maybe get a couple of those little first aid kit crack paks.
If you have a pet, the My Talking Pet app is extremely stupid and fun. Spend some time creating and sending silly messages to your family members.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
My mom didn't have to get chemo but when she was going through radiation therapy she said having ice packs at the ready was a godsend. Maybe get a couple of those little first aid kit crack paks.
If you have a pet, the My Talking Pet app is extremely stupid and fun. Spend some time creating and sending silly messages to your family members.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: She may want to rest/nap during most of it, as sometimes they add mild sedatives to the mix. Depending on where you go, there may be limited access to comfort amenities like blankets or an extra pair of warm socks. There will often be free snacks available that are gentle to the stomach but it can be limited to apple juice and graham crackers and gingerale. If there's anything she's particularly attached to in a "small portable comfort food" sort of way you can bring some of that, provided it's not something strongly scented that might upset other patients. Maybe she has a favourite blend of herbal tea?
My mom liked big shawly scarves that she could wrap around whichever parts were the coldest and still not get in the way of the stent or the IVs, and also those slipper socks that have the treads on the bottom - real nice wool/poly blend ones, not the shitty thin socks that they give you at the hospital.
Make sure that you are not wearing anything with a scent, no cologne, no heavily perfumed makeup or moisturizer. Not so much for your MIL, since the barfy symptoms take some time to set in, but for the comfort of the other patients.
As for how long it will take, I believe it depends on the type of medications she is receiving and the weekly/monthly schedule she's on. Plan for it to take at least 4h, iirc. (You might want to bring snacks for yourself as well.) You or your MiL or FiL or partner can call and ask.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:55 PM on October 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
My mom liked big shawly scarves that she could wrap around whichever parts were the coldest and still not get in the way of the stent or the IVs, and also those slipper socks that have the treads on the bottom - real nice wool/poly blend ones, not the shitty thin socks that they give you at the hospital.
Make sure that you are not wearing anything with a scent, no cologne, no heavily perfumed makeup or moisturizer. Not so much for your MIL, since the barfy symptoms take some time to set in, but for the comfort of the other patients.
As for how long it will take, I believe it depends on the type of medications she is receiving and the weekly/monthly schedule she's on. Plan for it to take at least 4h, iirc. (You might want to bring snacks for yourself as well.) You or your MiL or FiL or partner can call and ask.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:55 PM on October 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Trivia-like quizzes where you try to figure the answers out together. Magazines around a topic she's interested in and you can read her snippets or she can look herself. Crosswords.
But the first treatment may be so new and overwhelming she's looking around and digesting what's happening more than looking for distractions. The treatments afterwards might feel like they're longer as she gets used to the newness.
posted by taff at 1:56 PM on October 23, 2014
But the first treatment may be so new and overwhelming she's looking around and digesting what's happening more than looking for distractions. The treatments afterwards might feel like they're longer as she gets used to the newness.
posted by taff at 1:56 PM on October 23, 2014
Trivia-like quizzes
If this is a thing you think she would like, Sporcle is where you want to go. I have lost days to Sporcle.
posted by phunniemee at 1:58 PM on October 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
If this is a thing you think she would like, Sporcle is where you want to go. I have lost days to Sporcle.
posted by phunniemee at 1:58 PM on October 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Bring a handful of tootsie pops - from what I understand, they mask the taste of chemo pretty well.
posted by bibliogrrl at 2:16 PM on October 23, 2014
posted by bibliogrrl at 2:16 PM on October 23, 2014
Best answer: Oh yeah, hi. Welcome to my world. I've spent the last 18+ months with my bestie in chemo.
Short answer: you'll know more after this first time.
Longer answer: your facility may have: blankets, snacks, TV, wifi, magazines, pillows, chatty volunteers, hypnotic "screen saver"-type art on the walls, headphones, a cart full of refurbished wigs that need new homes, volunteer-knitted hats and scarves for you to select from and keep, private rooms, semi-private areas or a big room with lots of people at once, with or without curtains. You should bring a lot of stuff with you the first time -- iPad, phone, easy magazines (People, tabloids, US, etc.), music, journal, snacks, knitting, her mail to go through, a sleep mask for her, etc. Just bring a lot the first time and see what sticks.
She may sleep through the whole thing. She may be wired and or uncomfortable. The chemo itself may be followed by hydration and/or other meds. So yeah, you could be there for hours.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:43 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Short answer: you'll know more after this first time.
Longer answer: your facility may have: blankets, snacks, TV, wifi, magazines, pillows, chatty volunteers, hypnotic "screen saver"-type art on the walls, headphones, a cart full of refurbished wigs that need new homes, volunteer-knitted hats and scarves for you to select from and keep, private rooms, semi-private areas or a big room with lots of people at once, with or without curtains. You should bring a lot of stuff with you the first time -- iPad, phone, easy magazines (People, tabloids, US, etc.), music, journal, snacks, knitting, her mail to go through, a sleep mask for her, etc. Just bring a lot the first time and see what sticks.
She may sleep through the whole thing. She may be wired and or uncomfortable. The chemo itself may be followed by hydration and/or other meds. So yeah, you could be there for hours.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:43 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: You guys are full of great ideas! I will respond more later, but I should mention the distraction ideas are because she gets very anxious. She's already deeply worried about chemo side effects so I'm hoping to keep her mind off of what's going on with the distractions - not keep her entertained necessarily. Might be six of one, half a dozen of the other, but anyway...
There will be no sedatives. However, she will be exhausted, so if we can get her comfortable enough to sleep it will be a godsend. I am definitely planning to be there for hours, just don't know exactly how many.
posted by geeky at 3:59 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
There will be no sedatives. However, she will be exhausted, so if we can get her comfortable enough to sleep it will be a godsend. I am definitely planning to be there for hours, just don't know exactly how many.
posted by geeky at 3:59 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Is she going to be in a big room with other people? Headphones and/or earplugs. My chemo ward was a huge and the worst - people on speakerphone dictating to their secretaries, TVs turned up high, a lady with a barking dog and someone visiting with her baby that screamed for two hours (baby visiting, not getting chemo). We had privacy curtains, but that only worked to give people the impression that no one could hear them.
Also, knitting or embroidery or cross stitch. Perfect time to learn a new craft.
posted by crankyrogalsky at 4:07 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Also, knitting or embroidery or cross stitch. Perfect time to learn a new craft.
posted by crankyrogalsky at 4:07 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Audio books, she may not feel like reading but being read to is a great distraction. Find a book you'd both like with a great reader. There are lots of suggestions for good audio books in previous threads. Getting her an Audible subscription could prove a godsend if she likes it.
I played yahtzee with a friend in chemo, pretty mindless but just enough to distract. Guided meditation might be good If she's open to that sort of thing.
Does she like foot massages? Depending on the set up you could see if that sounds good to her.
posted by BoscosMom at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2014
I played yahtzee with a friend in chemo, pretty mindless but just enough to distract. Guided meditation might be good If she's open to that sort of thing.
Does she like foot massages? Depending on the set up you could see if that sounds good to her.
posted by BoscosMom at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2014
Response by poster: What would I do without you, MeFi? So many great answers.
@rainbowbrite Sadly we don't have any printed albums (damn you, digital age!) but I've been wanting to make her one. I will definitely try to do this for next time. I'll comb our extensive bookshelves for some good picture books too.
@phunniemee The games are a maybe - I know she has Bejeweled and she's enjoyed those types of games in the past, but I think her attention span might be too short for those right now. The My Talking Pet app, however, is *brilliant*. We have a dog she loves to death, so it will be a fun project to make her some videos for next time.
@poffin boffin I'll definitely bring a pashmina in case she gets cold! I don't think slipper socks are going to fly though - she's a fall risk.
@crankyrogalsky I don't know what the set up of the room will be, but it never occurred to me it could be a big noisy room! I know the waiting rooms at this hospital tend to be chaotic and noisy, and the noise definitely bothers her so I will bring earplugs and/or headphones for sure. She is into cross-stitch too, so I may try that next time.
@bibliogrrl It also never occurred to me that tasting chemo could be an issue. I'll definitely get some lollipops!
posted by geeky at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2014
@rainbowbrite Sadly we don't have any printed albums (damn you, digital age!) but I've been wanting to make her one. I will definitely try to do this for next time. I'll comb our extensive bookshelves for some good picture books too.
@phunniemee The games are a maybe - I know she has Bejeweled and she's enjoyed those types of games in the past, but I think her attention span might be too short for those right now. The My Talking Pet app, however, is *brilliant*. We have a dog she loves to death, so it will be a fun project to make her some videos for next time.
@poffin boffin I'll definitely bring a pashmina in case she gets cold! I don't think slipper socks are going to fly though - she's a fall risk.
@crankyrogalsky I don't know what the set up of the room will be, but it never occurred to me it could be a big noisy room! I know the waiting rooms at this hospital tend to be chaotic and noisy, and the noise definitely bothers her so I will bring earplugs and/or headphones for sure. She is into cross-stitch too, so I may try that next time.
@bibliogrrl It also never occurred to me that tasting chemo could be an issue. I'll definitely get some lollipops!
posted by geeky at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2014
How about reading to her? My mom likes for me to read things like Little House on the Prairie to her because sometimes she's unable to use her hands to even do point and click games. Mainly she just likes to talk and we talk about ridiculously inane things just to have a conversation going if she's not up to concentrating on a story.
A soft blanket, bottle of water, a pack of crackers and some life savers just to cover all bases. Once my mom started getting mouth sores I brought her milkshakes to sip on. It will just be nice for her to have you with her, sitting in a big room with an IV for an hour or two is tough. She may be lucky like my mom and have a quick infusion. At one point, my mom just got a shot and then an infusion that ran over 15 minutes.
posted by hollygoheavy at 5:43 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
A soft blanket, bottle of water, a pack of crackers and some life savers just to cover all bases. Once my mom started getting mouth sores I brought her milkshakes to sip on. It will just be nice for her to have you with her, sitting in a big room with an IV for an hour or two is tough. She may be lucky like my mom and have a quick infusion. At one point, my mom just got a shot and then an infusion that ran over 15 minutes.
posted by hollygoheavy at 5:43 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's often a big room with lots of individual beds & chairs. The lights can be bright and it can be noisy. Also, intake can take a long time, especially the first time - the infusion may be an hour or so, but you'll likely be there for a while doing paperwork & vitals, starting an IV, etc. Blankets and slippers, definitely. She may not need entertainment or distraction - she may just want to zone out a bit. Hope it goes smoothly.
posted by judith at 8:02 PM on October 23, 2014
posted by judith at 8:02 PM on October 23, 2014
Best answer: I work for a cancer treatment center and have for many years, and we provide televisions, magazines and blankets. The area is usually kept cold, so if she has a favorite blanket and doesn't want to use the community ones, I'd suggest bringing one with her.
Also, any kind of neck pillow, since she will be in a chair for an extended period of time. But each patient is different - depending on what type of chemo she is getting. She could be there anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours each time.
Any puzzles, games, and snacks that she can tolerate as well if you find that the treatment is going to be a long one.
A journal is always a nice thing to bring that she can write in, or you could bring prompt questions for conversations and quizzes as well. Those things always seem to pass time and allow for great and insightful conversation.
Something like this is helpful and would be fun. You can write them down, as well as her answers.
Good luck!
posted by Sara_NOT_Sarah at 5:51 AM on October 24, 2014
Also, any kind of neck pillow, since she will be in a chair for an extended period of time. But each patient is different - depending on what type of chemo she is getting. She could be there anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours each time.
Any puzzles, games, and snacks that she can tolerate as well if you find that the treatment is going to be a long one.
A journal is always a nice thing to bring that she can write in, or you could bring prompt questions for conversations and quizzes as well. Those things always seem to pass time and allow for great and insightful conversation.
Something like this is helpful and would be fun. You can write them down, as well as her answers.
Good luck!
posted by Sara_NOT_Sarah at 5:51 AM on October 24, 2014
Response by poster: Thanks again for all of the suggestions, MeFites. I took a crapload of stuff with me, just in case. Ended up not needing a lot of it, but my MIL was impressed with how prepared I was :)
We got lucky this time - we got a private room and an amazing, efficient nurse. The room was actually very warm, so we didn't end up needing the blankets or other warm things at all. I assumed the one thing they would definitely have was a TV, so of course it turned out they didn't - figures! I'll have to see if I can get a portable DVD player or laptop for next time. The snacks were a big hit with my FIL, and the staff actually brings around snacks/drinks for patients. Her infusions are 6 hours (!) long, which was an unpleasant surprise, but we passed the time chatting, taking short naps, looking at Maddie On Things and getting some visitors. We all agreed the time passed faster than we expected. The time to sit and chat with her was actually really nice. I learned some things about her and her life I didn't know before.
We may end up in the big "party" room next time (it's luck of the draw), so I'll definitely be using a lot of your tips again for the next visit.
posted by geeky at 7:15 AM on October 27, 2014
We got lucky this time - we got a private room and an amazing, efficient nurse. The room was actually very warm, so we didn't end up needing the blankets or other warm things at all. I assumed the one thing they would definitely have was a TV, so of course it turned out they didn't - figures! I'll have to see if I can get a portable DVD player or laptop for next time. The snacks were a big hit with my FIL, and the staff actually brings around snacks/drinks for patients. Her infusions are 6 hours (!) long, which was an unpleasant surprise, but we passed the time chatting, taking short naps, looking at Maddie On Things and getting some visitors. We all agreed the time passed faster than we expected. The time to sit and chat with her was actually really nice. I learned some things about her and her life I didn't know before.
We may end up in the big "party" room next time (it's luck of the draw), so I'll definitely be using a lot of your tips again for the next visit.
posted by geeky at 7:15 AM on October 27, 2014
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posted by rainbowbrite at 1:55 PM on October 23, 2014 [2 favorites]