Help Me Help My Hair
October 13, 2014 7:33 AM Subscribe
I have very long, very curly hair, which I almost always wear pulled up. I'm tired of it and I need some help with ideas for what to do with it-- hairstyles and haircuts.
I am never going to put in the effort for a high maintenance style.
I would like ideas for hairstyles-- especially ones that would get my hair out of my face without pulling it up like I always do. I am also looking for haircuts that might work for me. I just need to get out of this rut of wearing it one way.
I'm not really looking for advice care wise, though if you have something I need to know feel free to throw it out. I do curly girl. I can get it to look nice and non frizzy right after it dries from being washed but then throughout the day it becomes frizzier and frizzier which I've mostly accepted.
Pictures here.
I am never going to put in the effort for a high maintenance style.
I would like ideas for hairstyles-- especially ones that would get my hair out of my face without pulling it up like I always do. I am also looking for haircuts that might work for me. I just need to get out of this rut of wearing it one way.
I'm not really looking for advice care wise, though if you have something I need to know feel free to throw it out. I do curly girl. I can get it to look nice and non frizzy right after it dries from being washed but then throughout the day it becomes frizzier and frizzier which I've mostly accepted.
Pictures here.
Yes, cut it off. I know women tend to get very invested in long hair as an identity, but if you never wear it down you're not even reaping the passive benefits anyway.
I went from mid-back to basically the cut on the cover of this edition of Curly Girl, and yeah, people stopped me to complement it all. the. time. It looked sassy.
The one downside to going short - at least I could never get around it - is that you have massive bedhead every morning, requiring at least a wet/co-wash and whatever drying process you use, but for me that was product and towel scrunching and off I went, and I was going to take a shower before work anyway. It may depend how you sleep, maybe not everyone gets it so bad.
I have grown it back out to just past the shoulders because I don't have to wash it very much and it'll go up in a twist and I work at home and basically never leave the house. In general this is a terrible situation. I look older and dumpier most of the time. I am creeping closer and closer to a big chop again.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:02 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I went from mid-back to basically the cut on the cover of this edition of Curly Girl, and yeah, people stopped me to complement it all. the. time. It looked sassy.
The one downside to going short - at least I could never get around it - is that you have massive bedhead every morning, requiring at least a wet/co-wash and whatever drying process you use, but for me that was product and towel scrunching and off I went, and I was going to take a shower before work anyway. It may depend how you sleep, maybe not everyone gets it so bad.
I have grown it back out to just past the shoulders because I don't have to wash it very much and it'll go up in a twist and I work at home and basically never leave the house. In general this is a terrible situation. I look older and dumpier most of the time. I am creeping closer and closer to a big chop again.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:02 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I live kinetic's hair idea, but if you aren't yet ready for that, go with something like this. I understand your hair is curlier than this, but a good hairstylist will look at this picture and see what is going on-- chunked, somewhat razored layers. And chop off a good 6 inches at least.
I have long. curly hair which I do sometimes straighten, so I do fuss with it. But when I don't want to, I get a cheap gel and scrunch it under a diffuser. That will be all you will need to do.
I advise you to cut off a lot of it, but keep enough right now that you can get the balance of it into a ponytail. Some of the layers and pieces may not reach (bobbypins, there) but it will give you some perspective on having shorter hair. You can always get more cut off.
Another refresher-option is color. Either a demi or highlights which will require less care and maintenance. Good luck!
posted by oflinkey at 8:08 AM on October 13, 2014
I have long. curly hair which I do sometimes straighten, so I do fuss with it. But when I don't want to, I get a cheap gel and scrunch it under a diffuser. That will be all you will need to do.
I advise you to cut off a lot of it, but keep enough right now that you can get the balance of it into a ponytail. Some of the layers and pieces may not reach (bobbypins, there) but it will give you some perspective on having shorter hair. You can always get more cut off.
Another refresher-option is color. Either a demi or highlights which will require less care and maintenance. Good luck!
posted by oflinkey at 8:08 AM on October 13, 2014
Response by poster: I am willing to consider going short. It's been a variety of lengths but it always ends up getting pulled back, if only into a short ponytail. It's actually quite a bit shorter than the 'down hair' pics at the moment, but still long.
Anything short enough that I can't pull it back is a no-go. I am very active at work and in my hobbies and I need a way to get it out of my face. I've generally found that short hair is actually more work-- it requires fussing with or washing to make it look halfway presentable, whereas with long I can pull it up and it might not look great but it's not a disaster.
I mean, if I could snap my fingers and be done I would totally make my hair look like the cover of curly girl that Lyn Never linked to, but I wouldn't be able to make my hair look like that without a lot of work and expensive products.
I'm willing to go super short like kinetic's photo, but I have no idea how that would look on my hair, as me and Miley Cyrus are definitely not hair twins.
Anyway, thanks for the ideas! Not trying to shoot them down, just direct them in a way that will be do-able for me.
posted by geegollygosh at 8:18 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
Anything short enough that I can't pull it back is a no-go. I am very active at work and in my hobbies and I need a way to get it out of my face. I've generally found that short hair is actually more work-- it requires fussing with or washing to make it look halfway presentable, whereas with long I can pull it up and it might not look great but it's not a disaster.
I mean, if I could snap my fingers and be done I would totally make my hair look like the cover of curly girl that Lyn Never linked to, but I wouldn't be able to make my hair look like that without a lot of work and expensive products.
I'm willing to go super short like kinetic's photo, but I have no idea how that would look on my hair, as me and Miley Cyrus are definitely not hair twins.
Anyway, thanks for the ideas! Not trying to shoot them down, just direct them in a way that will be do-able for me.
posted by geegollygosh at 8:18 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I just saw a barista the other day with quite curly hair who basically had a slightly grown out pixie (a little shaggy all around but quite close-cropped). I LOVED it and have been wishing my hair were curlier all week. I think that kind of cut would work well with yor face shape too. (I can't link well right now but I just Google image searched "curly pixie" and it was all on point. I would imagine from my own pixie experience that you could throw a little product in it and go.)
posted by stoneandstar at 8:33 AM on October 13, 2014
posted by stoneandstar at 8:33 AM on October 13, 2014
Oh, and I totally agree with you about short hair being more work than long hair, but REALLY short hair (pixie) is less work than anything, in my experience! And it never looks "tired."
posted by stoneandstar at 8:34 AM on October 13, 2014
posted by stoneandstar at 8:34 AM on October 13, 2014
Oh yeah, it's definitely more work. And I had to have a selection of snoods to get mine out of my face, though I also ended up changing my tolerance levels for "in my face" from "none never" to "a little is fine".
If it has to be pony-able, I get to that point right at my shoulders - it's a little poofball ponytail, but it holds. At that length, I find that I don't need daily re-doing of my hair, and also that a ponytail doesn't completely break the curl so I can take it down and still get more time out of it.
Also barrettes and headbands and stuff tend to work well at that length. So if you're not sure you want to go shorty-short (or want to wait until after winter), maybe go to the shoulders with long layers and then go shorter later.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:14 AM on October 13, 2014
If it has to be pony-able, I get to that point right at my shoulders - it's a little poofball ponytail, but it holds. At that length, I find that I don't need daily re-doing of my hair, and also that a ponytail doesn't completely break the curl so I can take it down and still get more time out of it.
Also barrettes and headbands and stuff tend to work well at that length. So if you're not sure you want to go shorty-short (or want to wait until after winter), maybe go to the shoulders with long layers and then go shorter later.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:14 AM on October 13, 2014
I've got a similar hair texture to yours and tend to keep my hair just above shoulder length. It's long enough to pull back (or up to sleep) but easier to wear down and dries better when it's not being interfered with by collars/shoulders/bag straps/etc.
If you do the Curly Girl thing you're already aware of the importance of getting your hair cut dry by somebody with a clue and all that. I've never had a lot of luck with more dramatic cuts (I worked mine up to an inverted bob once, but got bored with it fast and it required more frequent cuts to look good.)
posted by asperity at 9:22 AM on October 13, 2014
If you do the Curly Girl thing you're already aware of the importance of getting your hair cut dry by somebody with a clue and all that. I've never had a lot of luck with more dramatic cuts (I worked mine up to an inverted bob once, but got bored with it fast and it required more frequent cuts to look good.)
posted by asperity at 9:22 AM on October 13, 2014
Hi! My curls are nearly identical to yours. I sprang for a Deva Cut (tm) and got it chopped to about chin length, with some very mild layering. It's long enough to pull back into a short, stubby (but cute!) ponytail when I work out or don't want to be bothered, but otherwise is easy low-maintenance to wear down. Wash, a little product, and out the door. Cutting my hair shorter (it used to be your length) has been amazing. So seriously: get a certified curly cut and enjoy!
posted by TwoStride at 9:39 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by TwoStride at 9:39 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have the same hair as you, and had the same issue. I've had both of these cuts: short version and long version. They are both great-- low maintenance (other than getting it cut every 3 months or so) and the lack of weight on the hair gives you much more volume. Headbands to keep it out of your face.
posted by egeanin at 10:37 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by egeanin at 10:37 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm found that using a stylist who uses the DevaCurl Method well worth it. If the hair is cut dry then you don't get into the situation where your hair can be pulled into a pony tail when wet, but not when dry.
In addition, you can request that your hair to be cut shorter in the back. This way you have "less hair" overall, but your front ends can still reach the pony tail.
posted by oceano at 11:10 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
In addition, you can request that your hair to be cut shorter in the back. This way you have "less hair" overall, but your front ends can still reach the pony tail.
posted by oceano at 11:10 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
Your hair looks so great when it's pulled back! Which is to say, your face looks great with your hair pulled back. When it's down, you get a bit lost in it and it's a tad aging. I think a super short cut could look great on you (but you'd have to get used to hairbands to pull it back) or I'd chop it off to an angled chin-length bob and keep wearing it pulled back a lot of the time of the time.
Also, Kiehl's Silk Groom Cream is great for managing the frizzies. Put it in when your hair is damp and it really is magic.
posted by quince at 11:20 AM on October 13, 2014
Also, Kiehl's Silk Groom Cream is great for managing the frizzies. Put it in when your hair is damp and it really is magic.
posted by quince at 11:20 AM on October 13, 2014
Get a trademarked "Carve and Slice Cut" at a OUIDAD Salon.
posted by goml at 11:25 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by goml at 11:25 AM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have longish, very wavy, thick, coarse, hair that grows fast. Not quite as much curl as yours. I can't be bothered with hair routines or frequent hair appointments. I go to CheapAss HairCuts because I've had such bad cuts at expensive places that I might as will get hit-or-miss cuts on the cheap. As long as I give precise directions, I get perfectly fine hair cuts.
1. Layering 2 - 3 inches will release the curl in a pretty way. I have had even more layering, and liked it.
2. Use gel. I use a lot because it seems to soak in and vanish. ymmv
3. Use a silicon-based shine spray. It makes hair slippery, which lets it be curly without so much frizz. It makes it easier to comb, and shinier.
I work the gel and spray into wet hair, put in a headband, and ignore til dry, then finger comb it. I get that curly long hair look without it being overwhelming. I keep my hair long enough to do a 2-strand braid on the sides, then a french braid. When it gets very long, it takes more time to wash and braid. I get it cut twice a year, ideally. Sometimes I just ignore it for a year or so. It takes me 2 minutes of hair care after I wash it (every 2 - 3 days) and 2 minutes to spritz some water into it and either braid it or wear a headband (A small silk scarf, twisted and tied, makes a good headband. I get them at Goodwill.)
I think your hair is gorgeous.
posted by theora55 at 1:05 PM on October 13, 2014
1. Layering 2 - 3 inches will release the curl in a pretty way. I have had even more layering, and liked it.
2. Use gel. I use a lot because it seems to soak in and vanish. ymmv
3. Use a silicon-based shine spray. It makes hair slippery, which lets it be curly without so much frizz. It makes it easier to comb, and shinier.
I work the gel and spray into wet hair, put in a headband, and ignore til dry, then finger comb it. I get that curly long hair look without it being overwhelming. I keep my hair long enough to do a 2-strand braid on the sides, then a french braid. When it gets very long, it takes more time to wash and braid. I get it cut twice a year, ideally. Sometimes I just ignore it for a year or so. It takes me 2 minutes of hair care after I wash it (every 2 - 3 days) and 2 minutes to spritz some water into it and either braid it or wear a headband (A small silk scarf, twisted and tied, makes a good headband. I get them at Goodwill.)
I think your hair is gorgeous.
posted by theora55 at 1:05 PM on October 13, 2014
I have thick, coarse, curly hair too, and if you want to keep it long, think less about ponytails and more about braids. A french braid will keep everything out of your face, is less work than you'd think to make, and leaves your hair untangled and attractively curled when you let it out. (I often french braid it while wet.)
Layers give me clown hair, so I don't do those.
posted by jeather at 2:23 PM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
Layers give me clown hair, so I don't do those.
posted by jeather at 2:23 PM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have medium curly hair, that until last weekend was about mid-back length. I cut it all off into an asymmetrical bob, and honestly I don't miss it at all.
My main advice:
I go to Devachan, a salon for curly girls. They train stylists all over the country and they are the BEST for curly hair.
I brought in a bunch of pictures and asked my stylist what would and wouldn't work for my hair type.
It's surprisingly easy: I put some product in, let it air dry, and I'm good to go ( I do usually leave the house with wet hair).
I just search google images for "Asymmetrical short curly hair" but there are many combos on this that work.
if you cut it, donate your hair to locks of love (you'll feel great about this, at least I did).
Mainly if you want to cut it, go for it! It grows back, you don't need to be attached to your hair, and my short curly hair is surprisingly easy and gets lots of compliments. I wish I'd done it sooner!
I'll get pics up of my before and afters in a day or two.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 2:35 PM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
My main advice:
I go to Devachan, a salon for curly girls. They train stylists all over the country and they are the BEST for curly hair.
I brought in a bunch of pictures and asked my stylist what would and wouldn't work for my hair type.
It's surprisingly easy: I put some product in, let it air dry, and I'm good to go ( I do usually leave the house with wet hair).
I just search google images for "Asymmetrical short curly hair" but there are many combos on this that work.
if you cut it, donate your hair to locks of love (you'll feel great about this, at least I did).
Mainly if you want to cut it, go for it! It grows back, you don't need to be attached to your hair, and my short curly hair is surprisingly easy and gets lots of compliments. I wish I'd done it sooner!
I'll get pics up of my before and afters in a day or two.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 2:35 PM on October 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
pinboard. when I cut my hair I put together a collage of curly haired cuts with my face shape or a similar face shape and hair texture (mine is very fine). then basically told the hair dresser how much work I was willing to do on a daily basis (very little styling) and we went from there. short hair is so much easier and I just schedule haircuts at the salon for next time.
posted by typecloud at 8:52 AM on October 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by typecloud at 8:52 AM on October 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I did this. Bear with me. I had over thirty years of pretty long hair that I mostly wore up, and I cannot tell you the relief it was to get a super short, super chic cut. I also dyed it completely white.
Life changing, I am telling you. For over 30 years I rarely if ever got a compliment on my hair. No lie, I now get complimented at least twice weekly. Yesterday, the salesperson at Forever 21 said she loved my hair. I mean, seriously.
posted by kinetic at 7:45 AM on October 13, 2014