"I'm leaving this job because I already went to high school."
September 18, 2014 5:35 PM Subscribe
After less than six months in my new job (and on the advice of my boss), I'm looking for another one. I plan to go into major networking mode, and I need a good way to explain why I'm looking for a job after I just started one. Hope me?
I left a super stressful (70 hour weeks) middle management job with a 2+ hour daily commute in a niche area of my industry to take the individual contributor job I have now. I took this job to regain some work/life balance (mission accomplished there) and with the understanding that it would be an opportunity to develop some new skills and learn about a growing segment of my industry I haven't worked in before.
The department turned out to be a low-performing, insular clique led by the executive assistant (for reference, this is a technical role and about half the people in the department have master's degrees). After about 6 weeks, the group decided I was not in the clique, and started going to lunch and doing other things (running a quick errand, getting coffee, etc.) without me. We're in open cubes, and they would all email or text each other to coordinate, and then all just get up and leave. They are also extremely gossipy and negative about people in other departments - according to them, every one else in the organization is either a creep or an idiot or both.
The boss, a "C" level executive, is very hands off about the department's culture (explaining it away by saying that "women want everyone to be equal"). He defers a lot of management activities to the exec assistant, so she is a de facto manager. When it comes to the work, on the other hand, he is very hands on, to the point of being micro-managing. I'm used to working in an internal consulting capacity - independently meeting with the requestors, analyzing their needs, developing a solution, and getting feedback about its effectiveness for future iterations or projects. The MO here is for the boss to describe to you what he wants, you iterate it until he is happy, and then it goes off to the end user without additional feedback.
All that would be annoying but worth powering through for a year to get in the minimum time, but it seems that the staff have also been complaining to the boss about me and their perception that I get better assignments or opportunities for exposure in the organization. Last week, during my one-on-one meeting, he told me, "You can't stay in this job." He went on to talk about how he hopes there's a place for me in the organization, that I'm not doing anything wrong, he sees that his staff can be negative and unprofessional, but women are just like that, etc. We then went on to discuss in detail several ongoing projects. I was too gobsmacked to ask any clarifying questions, but it was clear it was more a head's up than "pack your desk."
TL; DR
The job I took about 6 months ago is not working out, due to a pretty profound cultural mismatch. I'm not getting fired, like, tomorrow, but it is definitely time to leave. I'm going to start contacting people I know who might know of something for me, know someone who might know something for me, or could serve as references. I have two questions:
1) How can I discuss why I want to leave this job so soon without being overly negative or having it reflect poorly on me? What's the right framing to use here?
2) How can I approach contacts without coming across as overly needy or demanding? I didn't do much networking in my last search, and I think that's partially why I ended up with such a bad fit. It doesn't feel right to contact people and ask "gotta job for me?" but as a mid-career person, it also doesn't make sense to ask for informational interviews. What's the middle ground for this?
In case people are wondering - I'm a woman, department is mostly women.
I left a super stressful (70 hour weeks) middle management job with a 2+ hour daily commute in a niche area of my industry to take the individual contributor job I have now. I took this job to regain some work/life balance (mission accomplished there) and with the understanding that it would be an opportunity to develop some new skills and learn about a growing segment of my industry I haven't worked in before.
The department turned out to be a low-performing, insular clique led by the executive assistant (for reference, this is a technical role and about half the people in the department have master's degrees). After about 6 weeks, the group decided I was not in the clique, and started going to lunch and doing other things (running a quick errand, getting coffee, etc.) without me. We're in open cubes, and they would all email or text each other to coordinate, and then all just get up and leave. They are also extremely gossipy and negative about people in other departments - according to them, every one else in the organization is either a creep or an idiot or both.
The boss, a "C" level executive, is very hands off about the department's culture (explaining it away by saying that "women want everyone to be equal"). He defers a lot of management activities to the exec assistant, so she is a de facto manager. When it comes to the work, on the other hand, he is very hands on, to the point of being micro-managing. I'm used to working in an internal consulting capacity - independently meeting with the requestors, analyzing their needs, developing a solution, and getting feedback about its effectiveness for future iterations or projects. The MO here is for the boss to describe to you what he wants, you iterate it until he is happy, and then it goes off to the end user without additional feedback.
All that would be annoying but worth powering through for a year to get in the minimum time, but it seems that the staff have also been complaining to the boss about me and their perception that I get better assignments or opportunities for exposure in the organization. Last week, during my one-on-one meeting, he told me, "You can't stay in this job." He went on to talk about how he hopes there's a place for me in the organization, that I'm not doing anything wrong, he sees that his staff can be negative and unprofessional, but women are just like that, etc. We then went on to discuss in detail several ongoing projects. I was too gobsmacked to ask any clarifying questions, but it was clear it was more a head's up than "pack your desk."
TL; DR
The job I took about 6 months ago is not working out, due to a pretty profound cultural mismatch. I'm not getting fired, like, tomorrow, but it is definitely time to leave. I'm going to start contacting people I know who might know of something for me, know someone who might know something for me, or could serve as references. I have two questions:
1) How can I discuss why I want to leave this job so soon without being overly negative or having it reflect poorly on me? What's the right framing to use here?
2) How can I approach contacts without coming across as overly needy or demanding? I didn't do much networking in my last search, and I think that's partially why I ended up with such a bad fit. It doesn't feel right to contact people and ask "gotta job for me?" but as a mid-career person, it also doesn't make sense to ask for informational interviews. What's the middle ground for this?
In case people are wondering - I'm a woman, department is mostly women.
1) How can I discuss why I want to leave this job so soon without being overly negative or having it reflect poorly on me? What's the right framing to use here?
Standard framing in my experience tends to be "It wasn't a good fit".
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:17 PM on September 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
Standard framing in my experience tends to be "It wasn't a good fit".
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:17 PM on September 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
My standard go-to was always "There were not enough opportunities for advancement or to use my x, y and z strengths," which in a toxic workplace, is actually true. Don't apologize for it being six months; if they query you, say something like "I enjoyed the job and learned some useful things, but the job definition ended up being different than what I understood when I took it, so I'm looking for a situation that's a better match for my skils." Again, all true. You don't have to say anything negative, and most interviewers won't dig hard for details.
posted by emjaybee at 6:18 PM on September 18, 2014 [39 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 6:18 PM on September 18, 2014 [39 favorites]
Just giving my standard warning that "not a good fit" raises the question that you were the one with interpersonal issues. It's frequently given advice, but to this hiring manager at least, bad advice. emjaybee's phrasing is the way to go.
However, are you sure there aren't other opportunities in your current company? You said the exec talked about other projects. A hands-off boss on a different team could work out really well.
posted by spaltavian at 6:55 PM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
However, are you sure there aren't other opportunities in your current company? You said the exec talked about other projects. A hands-off boss on a different team could work out really well.
posted by spaltavian at 6:55 PM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
You're in a good position. Either:
a) Say nothing about this ridiculous situation. 6 months is a split second.
b) Say you took a job but it wasn't a fit.
No need for anything more.
posted by LonnieK at 7:02 PM on September 18, 2014
a) Say nothing about this ridiculous situation. 6 months is a split second.
b) Say you took a job but it wasn't a fit.
No need for anything more.
posted by LonnieK at 7:02 PM on September 18, 2014
"It was not what I was expecting, and I'd prefer to be somewhere I can put my skills to work."
posted by anastasiav at 7:16 PM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by anastasiav at 7:16 PM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Just giving my standard warning that "not a good fit" raises the question that you were the one with interpersonal issues. It's frequently given advice, but to this hiring manager at least, bad advice. emjaybee's phrasing is the way to go.
On reflection, I agree. emjaybee's phrasing is excellent, and way better than 'not a good fit'.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:00 PM on September 18, 2014
On reflection, I agree. emjaybee's phrasing is excellent, and way better than 'not a good fit'.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:00 PM on September 18, 2014
Your coworkers treat you unprofessionally and the boss (both your and their manager, right?) is not stepping in because women are just like that?
While your manager did not fire you, he asked you to leave the job because people in your department complained about the assignments you are getting. Looks to me that he is shirking his responsibility as a manager in order to stay out of a perceived women's issue.
Go ahead and look for a better job, but document the situation and conversations in case you do get fired.
posted by domnit at 10:17 PM on September 18, 2014 [4 favorites]
While your manager did not fire you, he asked you to leave the job because people in your department complained about the assignments you are getting. Looks to me that he is shirking his responsibility as a manager in order to stay out of a perceived women's issue.
Go ahead and look for a better job, but document the situation and conversations in case you do get fired.
posted by domnit at 10:17 PM on September 18, 2014 [4 favorites]
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posted by michaelh at 5:47 PM on September 18, 2014 [2 favorites]