How can I convince my mum to quit smoking once and for all?
August 31, 2014 3:40 PM Subscribe
She recently fell off the wagon after quitting for several years. Is this a lost cause?
posted by Kat_Dubs to Human Relations (27 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My mother has always smoked since her early 20s. She quit while pregnant with me then started up again - the worst part was she always smoked inside the house and at the age of 9 I developed asthma, which I am sure is because of her. I moved out more or less as soon as I could.
Throughout the years she has tried to quit through all sorts of methods including hypnosis, but nothing worked. Finally, she quit a few years ago with the help of patches and nicotine gum. She hadn't fallen off the wagon even once. But then her father/my grandfather (who never smoked as it happens!) fell ill with lung cancer and passed away last year. She felt the burden was completely left to her (although I helped as much as I could) as her brother was nowhere near doing as much to care for him in final months of his life. Around this point she felt quite helpless and walked into a shop and asked for a packet of cigarettes.
She says she knows she has to quit again but is clearly still no-committal about it. As an only child I can forsee her getting some horrid form of cancer and me being the one that has to look after her. She must know this and I feel that she is horribly selfish. I think about my grandfather and how horribly emaciated he became and how difficult it was for everyone and feel a severe sense of dislike for the fact that she is choosing to shorten her life in this way. Although I also appreciate that I simply don't understand what it's like to be addicted.
I think the problem is that if she's stressed, she'll smoke or have a glass of wine. Rather than learn to deal with stress in healthier ways. And if that isn't going to change now at 52 - why would she stop?
Is there anything I can do here to get her to stop as I have discussed it with her? Or do I have to resign myself to the fact she may never stop and I will probably have to pick up the pieces later on?