creative, ambitious, lazy
August 31, 2014 9:21 AM Subscribe
How does an adult develop "grit"?
posted by serenity soonish to Grab Bag (12 answers total) 118 users marked this as a favorite
I will get excited about something and put some effort towards it, only to have it turn into 'meh' a few days later. I just can't stick to it. It's like I either have crazy amounts of drive or I give up entirely. I suppose I get easily frustrated or lose my energy fast.
I have lots of creative juice and way too many interests. I will take one class of metalsmithing, do some workouts with a personal trainer, write some short stories, make skincare products at home... and then it just fizzles. I get bored, or I see the path ahead too clearly "in theory" and then don't even take the first step. As a kid I was allowed to quit stuff that frustrated me. I used to love writing and did it all the time, but I had no clue how to progress further, so it fizzled in my late teens. As an adult, bribes do not work ("lose 5 lbs and I'll buy you X" turns into "meh, you can keep X" even if X is something I really want and the weight loss is something I really want).
Learning came very easy to me in school. It only got hard around the 2nd year of university, and I stuck through it because I needed a job and I had no family to fall back on. I am supremely bored at work and have learned all I can here. I am applying to many positions and had some interviews but it's not happening yet.
It's been suggested to me that I haven't found the thing I want yet, and I would stick to it if I loved it.
I am not completely without grit - I worked my way through university, progressed in my career, bought a house & fixed it up. If I see a clear payoff, I will hustle. Most times.
Things that seem to motivate me are very external: weekly classes, all my friends are going to the gym, external validation like acting in local plays and musicals. I'd love to start my own company but I just can't seem to get over the hump of actually doing it. "Oh everyone tries to self-publish" "who needs another skincare line?" "someone else will do it better" are the thoughts that kill my drive. I can have snatches of depression but they only last a couple of days.
Even stuff I love to do for it's own sake takes enormous amount of energy to just get started.
I would be happy where I am if it weren't for this aching drive. I know people who are happy to just punch a clock and pursue other interests but I haven't found this zone.
I feel this crazy drive to be more than I am but I can't find an outlet.
How do I pick a direction and just stick to it?
How do I develop "grit" (aka perseverance, "stick-to-it-ness") as an adult?
stories & personal experience welcome