I'm either insulted or over reacting
August 22, 2014 5:32 PM Subscribe
I have been friends with Becky since the 90's. Ever since I met my husband, then had a kid, it feels like she just keeps insulting my life. Or not?
posted by MayNicholas to Human Relations (56 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Becky and I became bffs in college. In our 20's our lives were similar. In or 30's our lives started diverging, just as I was ending an 11 year relationship, she was getting married. A few years later I met my now husband. She was happy for me then, but I am feeling as though she views him, and my new life with child, with disdain.
We live many miles apart now so I don't have to deal with this on a regular basis, but it still bothers me. When kiddo was first born we lived in the same town. I am a stay at home mom and after the birth she would constantly say 'hey let's hang out, leave kiddo with husband.' I would say no citing it just doesn't work like that, kiddo is 2 weeks old and needs to be fed every couple of hours. She would get this terse tone and say fine. This was a regular occurrence. I would invite her over on occasion, but she would usually seem annoyed by baby.
Kiddo is 19 months old now. We moved away several months ago. When we talk she asks me if I'm ready to pull my hair out yet. I confide, yes there are days like that, but it's fine, just comes with the territory. She again says, just leave kiddo with husband and go do something (that is completely plausible now, but it is the next phrase that cuts to my core) It's the least he can do.
That pisses me off to no end! I can't decide if I should launch in to a 'how dare you, you have no idea' tirade or just let it go. At that moment I simply said that he works a very stressful job and that this is the role I signed on for. This is just the normal frustration level for a stay at home mom. She went off on how him having a job isn't good enough. I ended the call shortly after.
She and her husband don't want kids ever. I don't care. We just have different priorities now. She is still free to be free. Our family comes first and foremost.
Next time I speak to her, do I tell her how much her comments about my husband bother me? Do I rail off all the great things he does other than 'earning money? Should I just not be so insulted?