My husband left me this morning. Now what?
August 14, 2014 11:10 AM Subscribe
My husband and I decided to divorce at 4 o'clock this morning, after I found him in bed with another woman. We've been married for 16 years and have an 11 year old daughter. He is at work, I am at home, and I don't know what to do.
We've been on a downward slide for a year and a half as he has rather obviously fallen in love with this other woman (totally textbook midlife crisis, but that's another story). He and I have, repeatedly, assured each other that this will be a fair and civil separation, for our daughter and because: reasons. He left for work this morning, and he plans to stay in the house until he finds another place to live, and I've asked for a few weeks or months to sort out what I want and to make arrangements. We haven't decided on the big things like who gets the house, if I'll even stay in the same town. Our daughter will live with me due to the total impossibility of him being able to take care of her due to his work schedule and demands.
I've left a message for a divorce lawyer/mediator couple who has handled our friends' divorces. I've told my parents, in-laws, and closest friends. I've told my boss I'm going through this but still intend to keep working (I work remotely). Our daughter is on an overnight camping trip tonight, and I arranged a sleepover for her tomorrow with a friend whose parents are going through the same thing, because she wanted to be able to talk to her about this.
So ... it's eleven in the morning on a weekday. Now what? My husband is coming over this evening (in theory) to go through the finances, passwords, etc. But what to do until then? Go get a massage? Work? Do something relevant to the end of our beautiful marriage? I'm totally lost. What do I do with my day?