Yeah, I never said that.
August 14, 2014 2:41 AM Subscribe
Why do people keep putting words in my mouth? I'm 30, but it's been happening as long as I can remember. It reallllly fucking pisses me off.
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper to Human Relations (30 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
This seems to happen to me a lot. When I was 12, and had just moved to a new country with my family, we were with my uncle at a concert in the park. My mom later asked me why I had been sitting there plugging my ears with my fingers. I said that I had absolutely not been doing that (and I hadn't. WTF? Why would I have done that?) She said that my uncle said that I was. (That's not technically putting words in my mouth, but I feel like it's the same idea.)
About a decade ago, when I was working in a retail store, a coworker's brother came in. I said "Oh you guys really look alike." That was the extent of my commentary on his brother's appearance. Later, he wanted to know why I kept making fun his brother's looks, and saying he didn't take care of himself and wanted to know what my problem was. I told him I never said that, and that all I said was that they looked a lot alike. He kept arguing with me and wanted to know why I was making fun of his brother's looks.
Once, I was staying with a family in a tropical climate (i.e., malaria is very common.) I told the mother that I was feeling sick. She suggested I talk to her physician husband about it when he came home and also asked "Have you been getting bitten by mosquitoes a lot?" I said "Yes, I have. Do you think it might be malaria?" When her husband came home, she screeched "She told me she has malaria!!!" He looked at me like I was a moron, and this being a culture where you're not supposed to argue with elders, I tried to disagree while not being disrespectful, but why on earth should I sit there and not say anything while you're not telling the truth about me? (She's a really abusive person that I think suffers some type of mental disorder, if that's at all relevant.)
Most recently, I was out with a (former) friend having dinner at someone's house. He asked for a bottle of Coke. Someone brought a Coke with two glasses and I told her that I didn't want any. My friend said "You told me you wanted a Coke." I said "I absolutely did not say that." He kept arguing and insisting that I had told him that I wanted a Coke, even though I kept saying that I had not fucking said anything about wanting a Coke. He hadn't asked me what I wanted to drink, I had not spoken to him at all about what I wanted to drink (and I don't even drink soda). That was the last straw for me in that friendship (and I think this was just a manifestation of his extreme sexism- "You're a woman! You'll drink Coke if I say you'll drink Coke!").
This is just disrespect, right? I mean, what is the purpose of insisting that I said something I never said? Why do people keep doing this? Is this something that happens to everyone and I just don't notice it because it's more noticeable when it happens to you? How do I make it stop happening?