August 13, 2014 1:57 PM Subscribe
Here's a question about hats and heads. My head, to be precise. It's big.
I would like to get a decent hat to replace the "Ontario Natural Resources" baseball cap with the broken bill that my friend Les gave me for free at her yard sale last summer (she wouldn't even take the stated price of $1.00 from me, though I offered). After all, I'm 50 years old, and don't I deserve to look respectable as my hair begins to take its leave? Yes. Yes I do.
So here's the problem, and the question. I have a really big head. I wear a size 7 5/8 hat. Actually, that's not the problem, enough people have heads that big that there's a size for us out there (i.e., 7 5/8). The problem is with the distribution of my head size. In the same way that, below the neck, I weigh the same as when I was 20, but the pounds are in slightly different places, the siziness of my head is oddly distributed. It is very long and narrow. This isn't a problem for a cap or beret, but when attempting to wear a blocked hat such as a fedora, homburg, or derby, even if it's nominally the right size, the edge is more or less sitting on top of my head at the front and back, while at the sides there's enough room for barn swallows to sail through (this hasn't actually happened, but it could).
My options as I see them are:
1) Consult some internet community concerning the existence of differently shaped hats.
2) Undertake cranial surgery to reshape my skull.
Given that, inside of my canoe-like head, I have a functional brain, I have hesitantly rejected option #2. This leaves option #1, which I undertake forthwith:
Are hats made in different shapes? As in shoes that are E, EE, or EEE, or something like that. If not, is there a way to modify a hat?
Alternatively, I could adopt a do-rag, but... 50, balding, very very white... that way lies danger.
Thanks, Metafilter! I tip my hat to you.