Boyfriend anger, one time occurrence? what to do now...
August 12, 2014 2:52 AM Subscribe
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We've had a good, happy, supportive, and very loving relationship with very few bumps in the road.
He has a tendency to get irritated more easily than I, which usually diffuses rather quickly by him realizing he's overreacting. On occasion I've said to him "oh come on, its not that big of deal" when he is overreacting and it diffuses. So nothing outside of the norm. My temperament is on the extreme end of laid back, while his is closer to the high strung end.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Last night, I witnessed for the first time him getting very angry, angrier than I've ever seen. His anger was not directed at me, but at a family member that he was having a disagreement with. I really didn't like what I witnessed, especially the yelling, and it made me really uncomfortable. I was so embarrassed by his behavior and felt like it was so out of line, and that he had an incredibly strong reaction to something really minor. This happened at the end of the night of a social gathering, so we went our separate ways shortly after the argument.
He realized after the fact that he crossed a line and and sent me an email apologizing within an hour of what I witnessed. He says he knows he was out of line, he knows sometimes he gets too angry/irritated too easily, that he's apologized to all the people involved, and saying he'll give me space.
I know I don't really want to be around him for a couple of days, I feel like I need to process and that I need my space. He knows me well and suggested this also. Part of me feels like this is a red flag, another part of me feels like this is a one time occurrence and that people overreact sometimes.
Since the occurrence I've sent two very frank emails regarding how it made me feel and we've communicated through email. So I feel like I'm doing a good job communicating my feelings and he is also, but I still have questions about how best to handle this.
My question is what do I do now? Is this something to work through together? Do I just keep an eye out for more behavior like this? How do we move forward without holding this what seems to be a one time occurrence over his head?