What to do when a peer shames you?
August 6, 2014 7:51 AM Subscribe
In my graduate school, I am in a course where we spent the last day doing a "termination session." One part of the termination session was to tell a peer a difficulty you had with them, and one of the members of my class told me that he found my clothing too revealing and distracting and that I had made him uncomfortable.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (50 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
He then proceeded to tell me that when I wore a skirt, he was worried that my "everything" would show and that I showed too much cleavage. I was shocked, and the exercise did not give time for us to respond. I left in a daze, and since then I've been feeling more and more sick about it.
We are in coursework toward a degree in a helping profession, and I feel so unsafe and objectified. I really feel like I should say something to someone, but I am also afraid of dealing with the ramifications of it - this is a peer who started my grad program with me and I will be seeing a lot of him for the next two years.
Anyway, I'm wondering the best way to proceed. I honestly don't think my peer's intentions were malicious, but he made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and objectified.