Any advice on job searching for the anxious and depressed?
August 4, 2014 10:35 PM Subscribe
I have social anxiety that gets worse when I'm depressed. I'm unemployed at the moment and really need work, but I'm in a lot of physical and emotional pain, so leaving my bed is a challenge. What can I do?
posted by oogenesis to Work & Money (10 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I've been depressed, off and on, for more years than I care to count. The fact that I had the kind of childhood one has to escape didn't help things. I also struggle with social anxiety that makes getting to know people really difficult: I feel like a burden, a fraud, annoying, pathetic, not good enough for other people, etc. a good lot of the time, even when things are OK. I can usually just ignore those feelings or logic them away, but it's lately gotten so bad that I'm constantly trying to keep from breaking down in public -- which has happened and cost me an interview recently -- and end up rarely leaving my room, lying in bed, sore everywhere. I'd been seeing a therapist, but our work is on hiatus until I can afford her again. I'm not on medication, except for pot. It helps, but I can't be stoned all the time and have no desire to be.
I want to be functional right now. I need to be. I keep telling myself 'It doesn't matter how you feel, you have work to do'. That helped when I wasn't an absolute mess. It helped me through my dad's death and almost a year of homelessness afterwards. It's not really helping now: I'm two months out of a job I left because my employer couldn't pay me every two weeks, and the stress of that on top of showing up regularly anyway put me in a near-constant state of panic. For six months. (They never paid my last two weeks' wages.) I'm still panicking. I'm not homeless yet, but this feels worse.
I've got some work trickling in, various graphic/web design projects, but it's not really enough to keep me afloat. I want to go back to school for programming (or at the least take some intensive courses) so I can get a better-paying job, get my driver's license, get a motorcycle license, take a serger sewing class, move into my own place again, but I can't afford it. I can't afford anything. I want to live my life as a person, not a quivering ball of desperate need that flattens everything in a five-mile radius. Help.