Another reason to not buy groceries when you're hungry
August 2, 2014 12:03 PM   Subscribe

I thought I used to like bologna and after making a sandwich with the stuff find that I don't. I need suggestions on ways to use the rest of the bologna that disguises it's texture and fatty/heavyness. Any ideas are welcome. Maybe there's culinary gold hiding in the offal ....
posted by mightshould to Food & Drink (32 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Dice it up and add it to a salad.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:06 PM on August 2

Bluh... Make a hot dish and dice it up fine cover with other strong flavored stuff and cook the hell out of it
posted by edgeways at 12:09 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Bake it or fry it after dicing, then add to salad.
posted by notyou at 12:09 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

you could give it a spin in a food processor or chop it finely with a knife and use it for a smallish portion of the meat in the bolognese sauce.

Could similarly uses a table spoon or two in the aromatics that form the base of a braise.
posted by JPD at 12:10 PM on August 2

Fry it on both sides to add texture/crispness, then make a BLT with it.
posted by suedehead at 12:13 PM on August 2 [16 favorites]

I need suggestions on ways to use the rest of the bologna that disguises it's texture and fatty/heavyness.

I also am in the same boat. I've pretty much not been able to eat bologna by itself for most of my life.

Except when it's mixed in with other meats on sandwiches, then I find that it is very tolerable (good, even), and I don't mind it at all. Like on subs, I've enjoyed it when added with turkey or salami and all the other yummy things on subs.
posted by SpacemanStix at 12:21 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Yes, fry it. It's more like a big slice of hotdog then. Good with sauerkraut.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:38 PM on August 2 [4 favorites]

You could look for recipes using mortadella -- here's a stuffed pork loin, an egg & cheese strata or a meatloaf.
posted by kittydelsol at 12:45 PM on August 2

I agree with SpacemanStix. Bologna is good on an Italian sub with salami, genoa, pepperoni, provolone, lettuce, tomato, hot peppers, and some good oil & vinegar.
posted by hydropsyche at 12:46 PM on August 2 [4 favorites]

Chop it up, fry it with some onions, and hide it in an omelette.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:07 PM on August 2

Fried bologna sandwich - Momofuku's David Chang's version.
posted by needled at 1:34 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Fried bologna -- in a skillet, a little butter, nipped with three cuts around the circle with a butter knife to keep it flat, until the edges get crispy and dark brown, thusly, on untoasted white bread, covered in yellow mustard.

A culinary wonder.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:45 PM on August 2 [7 favorites]

Also, you could probably treat it like a flat hot dog and approach it that way. Depending on your standard approach to hot dogs.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:47 PM on August 2

Make a western omelet with it substituted for ham; that is, chopped bologna, onions, and green peppers in an omelet.
posted by axiom at 2:20 PM on August 2

Cook onions and garlic with a piece of diced bologna (any fatty meat works) until the meat is crispy. Throw in some wine to deglaze the pan, cook to reduce the liquid a bit, then toss it with pasta.
posted by soelo at 2:23 PM on August 2

When I was a kid, my mom used to make balogna salad -- think of it like tuna, chicken or egg salad. She's use the meat grinder tool on the KitchenAid, but I'm sure food processors will do the work just as well. Make it finely ground, add relish, a touch of mayo, and it makes a nice spread that has none of the ickiness you might perceive in chunks of balogna. (I've never eaten ham, but I suspect it's a similar consistency to what I've red about deviled ham.) There are tons of different recipes on the web, and I don't know enough to know which are closest to what my mother made, but I can tell you to be light on the mayo until it's the consistency you prefer. (Also, many of the recipes I'm seeing show the addition of hard-boiled eggs. I'd swear my mother didn't use these, but I was not an attentive eater, just a picky one.)
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:29 PM on August 2

Freeze it until the winter and then when the midnight van for the homeless is asking for donations of sandwiches to feed them, defrost it and make it up into sandwiches.

Fry it up with strong spices, garlic or curry or peppers or some mixture of the three and also some vegetables such as peppers and onions so that it turns into something rather like a meat sauce. It could be served on rice or pasta or as a roll up filling.

Don't try too hard. You don't want to buy thirty dollars worth of expensive ingredients in order to salvage three dollars worth of bologna and end up with a dish that you really don't like because the bologna ruined it.
posted by Jane the Brown at 2:32 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

It's barbecued in Oklahoma.
posted by brujita at 3:21 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

ways to use the rest of the bologna that disguises it's texture and fatty/heavyness

Balancing out the fattiness and heaviness of processed meat is what mustard does best. If you don't like the bright yellow stuff, get a nice coarse brown mustard, and lay it on thick. Maybe also a couple rings of raw onion.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:54 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Acknowledge that bologna is awful and toss it. Life's too short to eat stuff you don't like and bologna's cheap.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 3:56 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Bologna is inedible unless fried.
posted by unknowncommand at 4:02 PM on August 2

I'm with the fryers; the hot crusty brownness transforms it just as it does with spam which, fried, is fit for lunch with Hawaiian gods.
posted by Anitanola at 4:59 PM on August 2

Chop it up real small, fry it up with potatoes and onions. Hash! You won't need a ton of extra oil/butter in the pan.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:04 PM on August 2 [1 favorite]

Nthing all the fried suggestions, especially fried baloney and onions on white bread.

However, it is also good in a sandwich with peanut butter on one side, and mustard on the other.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 5:33 PM on August 2

Fried bologna. In a sub. "Ham" salad (grind it up with some pickles and add mayo). If you happen to have a chunk rather than slices, put it on the grill with some BBQ sauce.

I also agree on the mustard part, but like my bologna better with catsup.

Damn it, now I want a bologna sandwich.
posted by kathrynm at 6:26 PM on August 2

Put it in a grilled cheese, preferably on rye, marble, or pumpernickel.
posted by jgirl at 6:43 PM on August 2

When I have no salami for salami and scrambled eggs, I substitute bologna. Cook up so bologna, onions and eggs. Place on english muffin.
posted by 724A at 7:00 PM on August 2

My favorite fried bologna sandwich was grilled cheese with fried bologna and lots of fried onions. Kind of like a patty melt with fried bologna instead of a hamburger patty.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:41 PM on August 2

Now that I think about it, something my grandmother gave us for breakfast...

Cut up a slice of bologna in pieces and fry it up with some onions. Break an egg in there and scramble it all together. Serve on white toast with real butter. Catsup is optional.
posted by kathrynm at 9:57 AM on August 3

Y'all are great! Crisping it to a nice crunchy state does transform into a state of edibleness. I made a bizarre variation on Shrimp (crispy bologna) n' Grits as a first attempt and it was good.

There's lots more inspiration in your suggestions and plenty of bologna in my future (sigh) till the package is gone, no matter how hard I contemplated feeding it to unsuspecting critters. Another of life's big problems has been solved.

Now, You get a favorite, and You get a favorite, and You get a favorite .....
posted by mightshould at 12:03 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]

Grandpa also swore by it as fishing bait.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:02 PM on August 3

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