how is babby supported
August 1, 2014 8:22 AM Subscribe
I want to have a child, but I don't think it would work with my schedule and financial situation. My inability to solve this problem is affecting my daily moods and creating a negative outlook on life.
posted by WeekendJen to Human Relations (28 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 29 years old, turning 30 in the fall. I have a BA degree. I feel like I've been working my life away and I really want to get to enjoy having a family, but it just seems the pieces aren't in place:
The schedule - I work in a warehouse (active job) between 50-60 hours a week. I often get asked to come in 2-3 hours early or stay 2-3 hours late same-day, so my ability to plan things is non-existant. At one point my job equalized and I was working only 40 hours, but my company consolidated and it went right back to this current rediculousness. In addition to that I have a second job on the weekends because despite all this...
The money - I make less than 38k all together. I know I should look for another job and i send out an application here and there, but honestly I'm exhausted from work alone consider it an accomplishment to cook something to eat at night, let alone ramp up a job search. After paying for expenses (housing, commute, utilities, food, internet), I couldn't afford childcare and my parents both still work full time and are a good decade away from retirement. I feel like I need to be prepared to do this on my own because...
The dude - He wants kids, but in some undefined timeline in the future. He has nationality issues, so I'm afraid in the case of a split or something else, he'd end up halfway around the globe and I'd have to do everything by myself. I actually don't think his nationality contributes to my general anxiety over raising a kid alone because I realize that most couples end up divorced and a lot of women have to raise kids alone, hopefully with more hands to help them.
Being unable to work a family life into my current situation is really souring my life. I find myself what is even the point of living if I'm just a worker ant moving boxes around a huge metal sweatbox during the years when I should be forming and solidifying familial bonds? How can I deal with this disappointment in life's (lack of) offerings or reframe my outlook?