How to have an orgasm?
July 30, 2014 6:37 AM Subscribe
I'm female, twenty-six, haven't orgasmed, and want to. Suggestions? (NSFW.)
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (12 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
I value greatly the sex I'm having: it's frequent, varied, lasts 30 minutes or more, and is with a partner I love. But, while I'm pleased about having good sex, I'm also bothered that I don't understand the way my body works well enough to guide it to orgasm.
Any tips for finding what works? I've already tried vibrators and relaxing, so I'd especially appreciate overly detailed, specific suggestions: movements to attempt, thoughts to try out, essays to read, attitudes to cultivate, and things to ask of my partner.
Any suggestions for balancing enjoyable sex with finding an orgasm? In the past, I've felt that pursuing an orgasm was time-intensive, labor-intensive, and stressful. I like the way I have sex now, and don't want it to become too focused on problem-solving or trial-and-error orgasm work.
Finally, how can I identify success? Occasionally, I feel a cresting sense of pressure/pleasure. When I try to push that, I fear what I'm actually doing is urinating (?), especially since there's no obvious sense of relief or achievement afterwards. Given that orgasms can vary in their intensity and pleasure, what are some examples of ways I can gauge whether or not I've had one?