I am having trouble with my new "overweight" status
July 26, 2014 6:57 AM Subscribe
For the first time, in my early 40's, I'm overweight and ashamed and embarrassed and can't get back on track.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (42 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
I am an early-40's female. Until recently, I've always been thin, due to caloric restriction and exercise. I was a marathoner and have always exercised since adolescence.
Two years ago, my short (4 year), abusive marriage ended and I subsequently quit my job, met a great guy, and completely upended my life, for the better. I now work for myself and am with my soulmate. This is fabulous! However, the upheaval of a marriage and career blowing up at the same time really got me off-kilter health-wise. I'm at LEAST 20 lbs over my regular weight and I'm not exercising. I'm 5'4" and my regular weight is 110 or below. I cannot fit into any of my clothes, including the professional wardrobe I've built over the years. I've become asocial and agoraphobic because I feel like people are judging me and grossed out by me when I'm in public, and I certainly don't want to see any friends looking like this.
I'm in therapy for PTSD, and it has been really helpful in so many ways. I thought I'd supplement that therapy by asking MeFites for help, too - I find so much comfort from hearing others' experiences on this site and surely someone has felt the way I do? Maybe? I'm so ashamed to exist like this. My body horrifies me.
My direct questions below, but feel free to add any insight not directly addressed by the questions:
1. Before I turned 40, I could lose weight like that *snap*. Today, I have gone on a ten-day fast and lost nothing. Does anyone have advice for weight loss for 40-plus females?
2. How can I get my running mojo back? I can't stand feeling my belly flopping to the point that I stop running. I've never before had a belly.
Details: never been pregnant. Mostly low-carb diet. Too much alcohol. Supportive partner. Taking Effexor for depression. Have a Fitbit. Belong to Planet Fitness. Totally flexible schedule.
My live-in partner loves me like I am, so the driver is me alone in this nightmare. Historically, my father has always been super critical of fat females and is horrified by me now. He's embarrassed and ashamed, but I see him maybe once every two months.
Ah, another thing - all of my friends are runners so I see their skinny photos on FB and want to die.
Any ideas to get me back on track? One of the greatest things about marathon training for me was the sense of well-being and accomplishment - "I ran 16 mi today," as well as keeping weight in check.