Sharing custody, but the kid only wants to be with me.
July 21, 2014 10:34 PM Subscribe
I share custody (50/50, week on - week off) of my eight-year-old with her dad, and have since he and I split up over three years ago. Lately she's been spending all of her time at his house crying for me. Since she can't point to any tangible problems to fix, I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (24 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
She only started doing this in the past three to six months (sorry, having trouble remember exactly when it began, because at first I wasn't worried). For the first six months after we split up, she missed whichever parent she wasn't with, but after that she seemed to settle into the routine comfortably enough.
Lately, though, she starts clinging to me extra hard about two days before it's time to go to her dad's house, and once she's over there, she spends at least the first three days at his house crying for up to an hour at a time about missing me. When I ask her if there's something that she doesn't like about daddy's house, she can't tell me anything definite. She just says it's "lonely there" (he lives alone; at my house there's my fiance and our eight pets of various species), that I have better tv (true dat, and an iPad with Netflix too), and that maybe "girls just want to be with girls." Since none of these are things that he or I can fix, I don't really know what to do.
I'm not really worried about neglect or physical danger, though his parenting does seem a bit... distracted at times. I do suspect that he has chronic, untreated depression. She's a very emotionally sensitive child, and I can imagine that being around him all the time would bum her out. Again, not much I can do about that either.
So, I'm not even sure what I'm asking but... is there anything I'm not seeing that I should be doing to help her?