Advice for a 25 year old feeling lost?
July 15, 2014 2:41 PM Subscribe
I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally.
posted by pando11 to Human Relations (10 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
There are multiple factors contributing to this.
I just got back from a difficult family vacation. My dad died two years ago and my Mom is depressed and not herself. My sister is negative and abusive (like she would suggest I need plastic surgery, or we would be at a restaurant and she would order me to get the waiter and I would say I didn't like it when she asked me that way, and she would say I don't do anything which isn't true).
Second, I don't like my job, and it's been frustrating looking for a new one and evaluating my options.
But the thing I am most bummed about is my romantic life. I recently came out as LGBT about a year and a half ago, and I've struggled to find a community where I connect with other LGBT women or find women that I connect with. It's been tough since I am a "feminine" woman and I feel lost and not connected to the majority of gay or bi women. I've been dating a lot but I know what qualities I want in a long term partner and a lot of them don't really fit my criteria.
Recently, I finally met and really liked a woman I connected with after dating dozens of women. We dated really briefly (like two weeks) but then she revealed she got out of a serious relationship two weeks prior. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and that she didn't expect to have such a connection with me. Clearly I was a rebound and that really bummed me out because I thought our connection was real. I decided to not continue to date and ask we be friends since I wanted a serious relationship.
Since then, she constantly still constantly reaches out to me with terms of endearment ("cutie" etc.) and says she misses me etc. It's frustrating.
And so I have been in a weird sad funk where I just feel very lonely and alone.
My question(s) are this:
1. How do you set boundaries or push people away who may be hurting you while you are lonely? I'm scared of just having no one left.
2. Is it okay that I am partner-less at 25? I want to have children and I am feeling pressure and frustration with dating.
3. What are good coping strategies / things to tell or remind yourself when you feel a little lost?
(I am already seeing a therapist which really helps).