How to decline a date
July 14, 2014 7:09 PM Subscribe
How can I politely and professionally decline someone from the office who asked me out?
posted by mibo to Work & Money (34 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Well, I really never thought this would happen, but a person at work asked me out on Saturday. We work in different departments but have had projects together and I'm friendly on breaks. He asked outside of work in a low-key setting. I'm joking, it wasn't low-key; my boss was trying to set me up with him (different can of worms?).
Anyway, I mumbled my way through it hoping it was just too much boozie talking, but he called me the next night and left a voice mail.
I don't want to go on a date with him. There's more than one reason, but the only one that matters is that we're colleagues. I need to be a big girl and tell him politely and directly, but I have no idea how. This isn't a conversation that can happen at work -- walls are thin, people are around, etc. It also feels like a dick move to call him up and ask if he wants to grab a coffee and then show up for what he assumes is a date to tell him I don't want to go on a date. It would also feel super weird to call him tomorrow or something following up from a two-day old voice mail.
Socializing outside of work is fine, but it's not going to end up romantic or datey, ever, ever, ever.
Trying to sort it all out makes me feel flushed and pukey, probably because work is really political; social stakes are very high because this guy could end up being a supervisor of mine someday, or we could easily end up working more closely together. I need to be mature, classy and professional, where I'd prefer to be avoidant, asocial and a teensy neurotic.
How do I do it, MeFi?