I'm inept at dating in the real world. Help me learn how to take a girl from acquaintance to date and face the uncertainty in between.
I'm the author of this previous post from April.
(FYI:The girl at the center of that post did not work out. Long story short I never asked her out on a date but our messages got very short/infrequent very quickly so I chalked it up to disinterest and gave up.)
I'm posting here because a few weeks ago I met (and fallen extremely hard for) someone, I haven't feel this level of attraction to someone in a long time. Sadly though, I find that once I start going to friends (and ultimately MeFi...) for advice on a specific girl I have entered the point of overthinking everything and dooming any future interactions.
My current situation is very similar but I think I need to approach it from a broader perspective. It has become very clear to me that something on my end is consistently wrong. My way of thinking, and how I act on my thoughts/feelings - I must be approaching the goal of a relationship the wrong way?
My MO has been 1) meet a girl 2) Start chatting on facebook 3) Get her number/invite her out somewhere 4) ???
Since that post in April I've downloaded Tinder in an effort to meet more girls/get out on more actual dates (what is more awkward than a first date that is also the first time meeting each other, right?). It has been great for casual dating and hookups but I'm looking for something more than just physical attraction. It has confirmed for me that once I'm in 'dating mode' with a girl things can and do proceed very well.
My recent 'failures' with girls I have met in real life situations have been made more confusing/depressing though. I feel as if there is an implicit psychological effect of having been 'matched' with someone that allows me to possibly be more aggressive or at least more confident.
For example, with this girl I'm crushing on now, we left off our messaging with her inviting me to an event this weekend which ended up getting canceled. Technically the ball is in her court in terms of sending another message. I know I could just send one(double messaging eek!) but I feel almost afraid to do so.
Has anyone been in my shoes? What can I do to change all of this? I seem to have trouble understanding how to go from "female human who knows me" to potential date. I hear, "I met my wife waiting on the line at the Post Office" and cannot at all process how that could ever happen.