July 12, 2014 4:51 PM Subscribe
What would you say and how would you say it?
posted by jellyjam to Human Relations (28 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I have never been good at setting boundaries and as a result have had people invade my space and try to walk over me many times. However I do have a temper and that has helped to keep them away.
However now that I am married, I find myself in situations where women will try to make invites to my husband via me and I am not sure what verbal language to use to set those boundaries. e.g. a woman recently invited "us" over in for dinner, she lives alone and is not a friend, just someone we met at a gathering. It was clear that the "invite" was more directed towards my husband. I felt invisible and could not find the correct words to use. (first off is it okay for a woman to do that right in front of the wife??)
(disclaimer if you go that route-there are no trust issues, I trust my SO completely) The issue here is the anger I feel in these situations because I feel invisible and unable to cope verbally with these, what should be simple, situations. I have the same issue at work, unable to verbally hold people at bay. I have been told I am too nice.
So the question is-ladies how do you handle these situations verbally? Examples would be great. The situation is-a woman is trying to cozy up to your guy, you need to set boundaries with her and let her know she is overstepping. In most cases these are not friends, mere aquaintances.