Why Do Women Hate TV Watching Men?
July 10, 2014 10:34 PM Subscribe
Husbands and boyfriends watching too much tv is a common complaint from women. It's so frequently mentioned in relationships of all types that I don't understand it. If not tv, then video games. I'd like to understand why this particular issue is so frequent among couples, and maybe both why men do it, and why women despise it? Is there any studies or other sources that explain behavior, or attempted to explore it, especially in a relationship or gender differentiated dynamic?
posted by LANA! to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (31 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
I know it can go both ways and women can be the excessive tv watchers. But it seems like the majority of cases are men watching too much tv or playing too many video games. I thought it was related to an unequal distribution of house work (which it is for many) but there are plenty of examples where men are doing their share of work, and yet still "watch too much tv/video games".
I am curious because it's a problem in my relationship. My husband watches tv from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed. Other things are just distractions to be completed until he can get back to the tv. Even if he's working on other things, he will often have the tv on pause, often taking "breaks" and switching back to tv. He'll watch the same tv and movies over and over again. I don't know he's gone a single day without tv since we've known each other. If he doesn't have anyplace to be, he will take hours to wake up because he turns on tv first thing and watches as part of his waking up process.
I watch tv, and am prone to spells of intently watching a show for hours on end (binge watching a series). But then it ends and I do something else. The notion of watching tv constantly strikes me as weird.
This is perplexing to me because it is such a huge time sink and I think of all the things he could be doing instead of watching tv that would be more productive. Be it hobby, exercise, housework, career training, and probably many other things. I have tried to think of it as his "hobby", but I don't see any hobbies that are that all consuming and a 24/7 part of ones day.
And yet, in trying to understand it in my husband, I see that a lot of men are like this. Or rather, I see a lot of women complaining about the men in their lives being like this. I am also trying to understand why women see it in such a negative light. The number one complaint seems to be that the husband/boyfriend is doing it instead of helping with chores. But the secondary complaint seems that most see it as a waste of time (myself included).
In many cases, that seems to bother women more than the lack of help the television causes, many women stating it would be okay if the husband/boyfriend was doing something else that took up time, as long as it was enriching. Which begs the question, why don't these women see tv and video games as enriching, and is that feeling different than men have towards those activities (from a sample of one, the answer is "yes".) Why do we see it so differently?
Is there any study into this area? Any explanations or hypothesis that are somewhat credible? There is so much information online about people experiencing this problem in their relationship, with many ideas why it happens to them, from the men as to why they do it, and many of them vary or suggest that tv watching is a symptom, but of what and why?
I really am trying to avoid this being chat-filter; but I don't know where else to ask. I am not worried right now about figuring out the cause of it in my relationship (that's for another time), I'm just trying to understand why it exists and why it is so gender biased, both in the watching of tv/playing video games and the general dislike by the other gender.