my life in the mean time
July 8, 2014 11:04 AM Subscribe
My whole adult life I've always felt like my life was on hold. Why can't I settle down even though I want to? Why do I feel this way and how to change or cope?
posted by serenity soonish to Work & Money (9 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
I have overstayed my job by 5 years. I never intended to stay in this suburb this long, I meant to stay 5 years for the job and then go elsewhere to improve my career but it has been 10 years and I'm so sick of it. I wanted to change companies and I was applying everywhere and then the recession hit and so I bunkered down and stayed. I bought my house 7 years ago thinking "I'll only stay here a year or two" and each time I have to renew my mortgage I only want a 1 year term. Even to this day I can't buy a gallon of olive oil without thinking "but what if I have to move before I finish this? Better just buy 25oz." I won't buy a BBQ or deck furniture in case I leave. My house is kinda empty but I do have basic furniture & pets. I was about to leave 2 years ago and then I met my boyfriend. He wants to leave as well and we are slowly making those plans, but the plans are too slow and I feel like I'm just living my life in the mean time. I want some definite plan to get out of here. He says we are planning, he says things build (and he has to tie up loose ends at work for another few months, although initially our date was spring and that deadline keeps getting pushed back since his work stuff got delayed), he says be calm otherwise you'll just bring those anxious stressful feelings to the next place too. I want a concrete plan that will not leave me feeling so up in the air. I have been applying to lots of jobs and some nibbles but no bites.
Growing up life was chaotic, alcoholic emotional parents and we moved every 1-2 years. I definitely have a lot of anxiety and trouble sitting still. I feel like this suburb is purgatory and my own life is passing me by. Everyone's life is moving forward while mine is standing still. It's like I'm living it while it is on hold. But I also wonder if I will also feel stuck when I get to the next place. What is going on? Do you feel this way? Did moving help? Where does it come from and how to deal? Thanks metafilter.