Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)
July 3, 2014 9:40 PM Subscribe
The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act.
posted by chloe.gelsomino to Human Relations (17 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
This is not my first run at the bar exam, so I know what to expect. What I've had difficulty in, is managing my emotions. Namely, this crescendo of guilt coming at me full force.
Also, I am prone to severe anxiety, to the point where talking on the phone with friends can make me want to sh*t bricks. Especially so when I'm entrenched in something like bar study. There's a cruise ship's worth of activities flying around (weddings, birthdays-- most are immediately after the bar exam; friends have cajoled me to get out) and a friend who is going through some pretty severe things at home who has repeatedly asked to vent and chat with me (surprise, I've ignored her). I feel terrible not responding, yet if I respond, I know it's going to propel me further into this vat of guilt.
I know I am emotionally unavailable right now. How can I not be an asshole about this with those in my life? Next week is my last week at my firm before I take off to study full-time. Meditation has helped, as well as some in-home yoga.