Financials and Relationships
June 27, 2014 6:26 PM Subscribe
I quit my job about a year ago. Through a mixture of savings , part-time jobs I have managed to stay afloat. My girlfriend's birthday will be coming up next month and has asked me to fly with her to Paris. I would love to join her but believe my financial situation is not up to snuff. How do I communicate this in a manner that is positive for the both of us? Complicating factors below.
posted by The1andonly to Human Relations (40 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I quit my job about a year ago in order to complete an MBA program, get an internship that allowed me to switch careers. I have been able to maintain a decent lifestyle through a mixture of savings, good investments and part-time jobs. My girlfriend lives with me and in that time I have managed to pay all my bills which include half of the rent. I also keep a lifestyle where I go out on weekends and go out on dates with her which we either split or I pay.
As I don't start my next job till next month I decided to engage in some travel. I will be going to Europe for about three weeks and mostly staying in hostels or friend houses.
My girlfriend recently asked me to join her and her friends on her 30th birthday in Paris. She will be there for 5 days but because I just got a new job I am not allowed to take vacation days, she would like me to join her just for the weekend. I believe that flying to Europe for 48 hours is not worthy, irregardless of how much I love her. I also think it would be financially irresponsible especially since I am coming from Europe a few weeks before and my savings are down the drain. My girlfriend states that I can afford it because she sees the way I spend now and for the most part I should be fine, specially since I just scored a lucrative position. Nevertheless, it has taken a considerable amount and effort and work to have a balanced budget and I am also in debt. Finally, she sees me traveling alone and believes that I kind of owe her this one (though we did travel together to Israel last March).
I have asked her to go other places that are closer but she will not budge. I have been with her four years and in the last three she has lived with me. She has been supportive most of the time we've been together. I have communication issues and I am trying to do my best to be better at it and thus the reason I am posting here. Hive, could you help me craft a proper explanation. Is my girlfriend asking for too much?