I've Run Out Of Damn Shoes TO Drop
June 18, 2014 9:50 AM Subscribe
After a solid 6-year stretch of one-thing-after-another bad luck, things are finally turning around - but I am still automatically reacting as if another disaster is impending, when there's no sign one is. Help snap me out of it?
I've mentioned it before in a few threads, but I got hit with a doozy of a list of bad luck for the past few years - three job changes, eight roommate changes, a breakup, death of a pet, a breakin and the theft of a computer, the crash-and-burn of the computer after that, the crash-and-burn of the computer after that, chronic insomnia, breaking a foot, Hurricane Sandy, just one g-darn thing after another. Fortunately it didn't send me off gibbering into a corner - I was able to grit my teeth and buckle down and tough my way through it all, which is kind of awesome and I've been patting myself on the back.
But then recently, I realized that I've started gritting my teeth and preparing to tough through things that haven't even happened yet, and potentially may not happen at all. Like - my lease will be up for renewal in a few months, and I'm a good tenant and have always paid rent on time and the super told me the landlord loves me, and the most he's raised the monthly rent in the last 8 years of tenancy has been $90 (in the middle of the recession, natch). But I recently caught myself looking at Craigslist ads anyway, and trying to steel myself for having to move "if I get priced out or the lease doesn't get renewed." I even went as far as to use Googlemaps to work out how long the commute to work would be with a given apartment before I realized it was profoundly strange to be getting that anxious about something which had only a slim chance of even happening.
Have I gotten too used to "something bad's about to happen" as my new normal, and how would you suggest snapping myself out of permanent impending-crisis mode?