How do decent human beings live with pedophilia?
June 12, 2014 4:36 AM Subscribe
I'm obviously not talking about people who act on it. But we don't choose our fetishes, and I've read a few tortured anonymous accounts of people who don't want to molest children and will never act on it, but nevertheless suffer with that compulsion. So I'm wondering what resources they use to cope.
posted by Because to Grab Bag (15 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
I was just reading a short story about a pedophile who wanted to kill himself so he wouldn't give in to his compulsion to molest children, and it really hit me how awful living with that must be. That's one of the very, very few paraphilias which is straight NOT OKAY, and there's no way to indulge it without seriously harming another human being. Pedophilia is justifiably reviled. But what about the people, and I know they exist, who know that, and who are capable of resisting those impulses, but feel them anyway?
I'm not not NOT talking about child porn here. I'm sure that's involved in people's coping, but I am the polar opposite of interested in hearing about it. I'm more interested in how pedophiles deal with the self-loathing, and knowing that their sexual identity is genuinely and legitimately unacceptable. Are there support groups? Do people seek out other, more standard groups, like, I don't know, AA or something, and make up some other reason to be there? This isn't the sort of thing I can google without coming out scarred, so I'm wondering whether anyone happens to know of any books or articles written by pedophiles who successfully suppress their urges and do not, as the character in this story, commit suicide.
This is a tough question to phrase, and I hope I am getting it right. I'm a straight 34-year-old woman who dates my age and up, so my interest isn't personal. Just. Jeez, guys, it has to be HARD to suppress something that big. And when all anyone ever sees is the horrible, horrible result of those who do not, who can these people turn to when it's too much?