Pain - it got good to me?
June 11, 2014 9:55 AM Subscribe
I've been in chronic pain--rarely acute, but constant, flitting about different parts of my body--for years: diagnosis: early Fibro. In early spring, I started getting really bad headaches from clenching my teeth. Not the first time I've had the problem, but never before this intense and for this long. Then about a month ago, I developed lower-back/sciatic pain--again, I've had it before, but never so badly or for so long. The two things didn't overlap much, but they sort of drowned out my regular aches and pains.
Now my back problem is clearing up, and I find myself in a panic about not
being in pain anymore
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (2 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
To the extent that I have stopped doing anything to help my back heal, and I have been poking my worst fibro tender points to reassure myself that yes, they are still excruciating. I've been sick/in pain and gotten better before, and never had this reaction. I can intellectualize why the thought of suddenly being "cured" would freak me out (what if the pain hasn't been holding me back and I'm just not very good at life? what if I've subconsciously built my identity around pain and sickness?). It's particularly weird because I am still in pain, so why am I panicking about not being in pain ever again?
I also have a habit of fixating on things when I'm tired or stressed, usually between 11pm and 2am, but traditionally this is worrying about money or looking for something I don't need and haven't used for years but suddenly must locate, like a particular hair clip. I have coping mechanisms for those things, but this new obsession is really bothering me because it's so obviously "sick".
What I want to know is, has anyone else had this issue after recovering from a bout of ill health/injury, and does the intrusive, conscious part of it go away with time? Or is it going to last, in which case if I am really suddenly well, should I immediately schedule therapy to deal with all the wishing-I-was-still-sick baggage?