Partners of motorcyclists - how do you manage your anxiety?
June 10, 2014 7:30 PM Subscribe
My boyfriend has had a motorcycle for years, since before we met. I've always known he loves motorcycles and will always want to have one. I've always had some anxiety about his safety on the bike - not because I don't think he's a cautious and experienced rider (he is very much so) but because, well, they can be quite dangerous, especially in the city. We live together now and I'm more aware of his comings and goings than I used to be, so I find myself feeling more and more fearful of something happening to him while riding.
posted by blackcatcuriouser to Human Relations (13 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I wonder whether he got to work safely each day. There have been times when he hasn't returned my call immediately and I've imagined the worst. I don't want to project this onto him and make HIM nervous about riding, or seem paranoid, so I rarely convey exactly how anxious it makes me. When I have, he just assures me that he's safe and wears all his gear and he has a safe bike and he has never had an accident before, etc etc. I've ridden with him a few times. Seeing how safely he operates did allay some of my fears, but I still worry about him each day. I'm going on a trip with a friend in a few months and during that time my boyfriend will be going on a long distance ride. I hate the idea of spending my trip worrying about him.
I have not and will not ask him to get rid of his bike, as he is a grown man and this is a part of his life that he really enjoys. It's also something he and his (now deceased) father closely bonded over, and I could never take that from him. My question is more about me - how can I manage my anxiety around this better? It's quite draining.
Any other partners of motorcyclists have experience with this? Any tips? Thanks!