I have *the feels* for a boy that I made friends with.
June 8, 2014 6:26 PM Subscribe
We met as travelers on the Greyhound bus and developed a platonic friendship. I like him so much though. And he may have a girlfriend. Should I just let it go?
posted by winterportage to Human Relations (20 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I made friends with a boy on the Greyhound bus, and I really like him.
Should I try to continue the friendship, if I have a huge crush on him?
I’m not the type of person who is attracted to a lot of people. Very rarely do I see someone that I am attracted to enough to long for their presence. I guess I’m content being independent, spending time with friends and practicing my hobbies. I’ve been single since December and haven’t really dated anyone since then, besides a few one-time online dates that went nowhere, and a couple tipsy make-out sessions with people I”m friends with.
I also think I have good instincts when it comes to people; I don’t trust easily and I’m not gullible at all, but can become very warm when I find someone that I know I like.
Well about 4 months ago while riding the Greyhound bus back to my home after visiting my friend in another city, a nice boy sat beside me. We started a conversation that lasted for the whole bus ride ( 2.5 hours). And at the end of the bus ride, he asked me to go skating afterwards ( we had discussed how we both like skating). So we went skating for an hour after that.
I was a bit overwhelmed because I’d never spent so much time with a perfect stranger that I had met through serendipity, and enjoyed it so much. We exchanged numbers.
He called me a few days later and we went for dinner. The next weekend he texted me to ask if I wanted to go for a walk, so we did that. Then we later went to the movies. All this was strictly platonic and friendly, but at the same time I developed a really strong fondness for this boy.
I am almost certain, however, that he just wants to be friends. He was living in my city only temporarily for a school co-op placement, and I don’t know if he has any friends here. So maybe he was extra friendly because he wanted to make new friends in the city. He just seems like a genuinely nice person ( who also happens to be extremely cute). And the clincher is, that at one point I think I heard him mention a girlfriend. I was too shy to ask about it, but I’m pretty sure he has one!
In 2 months, I’m moving to the city where he coincidentally also lives because I’m going back to school there. I still want to be friends with him, however, I’m very attracted and fond of him. So my question is: do I try to maintain the friendship? Do I “confess my love” to him, or tell him I have a crush on him? Do I ask about the girlfriend? If I was a less shy person, I probably would have already asked/told him these things. OR, since I think he has a girlfriend, and since I know I’m so attracted to him, should I just avoid contacting him because it will only allow my feelings to grow?
I also want to just mention that this isn’t really something I’m dwelling on a lot, or something that is preventing me from dating other people. But, if I was given the choice between any of the other guys I’ve considered lately, I would choose this guy in a heartbeat. However, I’m willling to let it go.