I moved in to my girlfriend's apartment a little more than a year ago and decided this isn't the thing I want to do anymore. Is my escape plan appropriate?
Background: I met my current girlfriend a few years ago while we worked together (we still work together, but never see each other since the building is very big with lots of other people). About a year ago, I moved in with her. In the course of living with her, I've determined that I don't want to move forward with this relationship for various reasons (cleanliness, attitude, decision-making, health, professionalism, and general smothering-ness as I need time to be alone sometimes). We've also been growing apart, intimately speaking.
Short-term, I like spending time with her, in general, but I have to try really hard to ignore the issues listed above (easy to do when we are out doing things like dinner together). She showers me with gifts and supports me (for the most part) in my work and dumb hobbies. Long-term, I know it's best to let her go. Miko's Breakup Blueprint
explains the situation perfectly. It's not fair to her for me to keep holding on to this -- she has expressed that she eventually wants to get married, but won't date forever. I don't want to marry her. I need to free her up to pursue a better match for herself.
I have depression and anxiety, although I think I've been doing a fabulous job of keeping both in check by focusing on my health, which does wonders and I don't want it to stop. I do sometimes still struggle with depression, especially when I consider this relationship (she is aware of all of this). I feel better when I think about everything I want to do after getting out of this relationship. I don't have many friends and my family lives far away. I've failed at breaking up with her once before, mostly because the emotions were overwhelming and I was afraid of being alone, period. This is the number one thing that concerns me about breaking up.
What is the best way to go about this? I was in a relationship a while ago where my girlfriend moved in with me. About two years after, she decided that it's best to break up (and I agreed, for the most part). I cried for only about an hour. She still stayed with me until she graduated college a couple of months after that. Her stuff was gone a week after. It was so drama-free. I don't think this is going to be drama-free because this girlfriend tends to have a pretty poor attitude, likes to create drama IMHO, and tries to manipulate. I fully expect her to be blowing up my phone (voice and text) and e-mail, but I know it needs to be no-contact, at least for a while. I'm also deeply attached to her dog, I'll probably miss the dog more than her, and get sad thinking about this part.
I'm considering going ahead and finding and renting an apartment before I break up, then have family visit me and help me move and stay just a little while longer, like a half-day or a day, to validate that I'm making the right decision, and that I'm staying balanced. Meals, gas, and sleeping space provided for them. We'll move one or two days after we break up. If she happens to come home while we're moving, I'm predicting a lower likelihood that she'll want to create a scene if my family is there (and they'll shut her down if she tries!). I'll also pay her my share of the rent for a couple months following, unless she creates drama. Is this a solid plan? Is this insensitive? Am I missing any special considerations?