Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest?
May 29, 2014 9:34 AM Subscribe
Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest? Hello,
I currently live in an expensive city, and am subletting from a roommate. I'm a straight male in my mid20s, and he's a bit older than me. This roommate has quickly proven himself to be a truly wonderful individual, both in private and professional life. I would even go so far as to say I deeply admire him.
He is starting at a new top notch hospital along with other residents. He offered a place on his couch to any of these new residents, for a day or two, as they get settled into the city. He told me this well in advance.
A younger women took him up on his offer. A day before she was set to arrive, he told me he was extending his vacation and asked me to do the hosting. The truth is with her professional background and career, I don't doubt she is a very trustworthy person. And I also don't mind helping my roommate out, as he has really been very kind with me.
With that said, I am uncertain if what he did is fair to his guest. She had never met my roommate before, and they only came in contact over a facebook page for new residents. And then a day before she was set to arrive, she found out he wouldn't even be here, and she would be sharing an apartment with me.
posted by jjmoney to Human Relations (28 answers total)
Obviously I like to consider myself a very respectful person, but would you be uncomfortable or nervous if you were this lady? I tried to make her feel safe last night by giving her her privacy and mentioning how my girlfriend will be moving here soon, but I felt a little uncomfortable (not for myself, but for her, if that makes sense?)
I also don't think this is something I would offer to do on my own, as my girlfriend and I are both pretty trusting, but tend to view sharing a place with a member of the opposite sex as slightly inappropriate. She is understanding herself, but is a little uncomfortable.
Normally I have absolutely no problem standing up for myself and speaking my mind, but I went along with this because my room-mate is--and It's hard to overstate this--a really great person, and someone I would love to stay in touch with for the rest of my life, and I wanted to help him out. I didn't really think about all of this until after I had already told him I'm cool with it (although his deciding to stay on a longer vacation a day before she was due to arrive didn't give me a real option to bring up concerns without forcing either of them to drastically change their plans).
At this point should I just take it as a lesson learned about what I'm comfortable with, and not bring it up? Or should I casually mention when he gets back that this wasn't appropriate? Or am I overreacting, and this is all completely appropriate?