Just been told by my boyfriend that he thinks I have BPD. What now?
May 26, 2014 7:22 AM Subscribe
My boyfriend sat me down tonight and suggested I might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). He is going to stay at a friends house now since our interactions cause him so much stress. We have been together 5 1/2 years, living together for half of that, a time we both agree has been frustrating and has left us with deep unmet needs. I want to hear him out but I feel confused as this assessment blindsided me.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (34 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's last year and since being on thyroid medication I feel (and act) a lot clearer. Now reading just a little about BPD online it does seem plausible that I could have some elements of this disorder. I do feel things very deeply, have a hard time controlling crying, and can get very emotional. I have been told by my previous partner that he felt he was walking on eggshells around me. My boss recently said that my thinking tends to be black and white. I have a history of drug abuse in my teen years, and poor relationship choices in my twenties, but is that a mental illness rearing it's head or just immature life choices?
I'm a working professional in my 30's who has had an interesting career and decent work relationships and am hesitant to be labelled with a holistic problem. My boyfriend is very particular in his own way, with some very fastidious and anxious behaviors, and also thinks his brother has a different personality disorder. This makes me wonder if it's him who also has some work to do in negotiating different personality types.
I am not sure where to begin with this assessment of me. I am nervous about reading about a disorder online and convincing myself I have it. I am nervous about going to a psychiatrist who could want to put me on meds when I might not even have a real issue, just an incompatible partner. I am nervous that my boyfriend will feel forced to stay with me through this so I am not abandoned, although I think he is pretty much ready to leave. I am also not in my home country as I moved here to be with him and have built little support network.
I guess my question is where should I start with this new information, and I'd also like to hear experiences about being diagnosed or misdiagnosed with BPD. You can also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org