Obtaining consent before posting family photos to social media?
May 22, 2014 11:41 AM Subscribe
Am I wrong to want for my 25-year-old sister to get consent before posting photos of our family to >900 followers on social media sites (including Facebook and Instagram)? I feel annoyed by the Pinterest-perfect ideal of our family life that she's selling, and like my privacy is being violated in a big way.
We're currently arguing about this and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable, or if there's a better/more productive script I can follow so that we might actually resolve the conflict.
posted by magdalemon to Society & Culture (41 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
For Mother's Day, Father's Day, National Siblings Day (ugh) and birthdays, etc., she'll typically post a collage of old photos from our childhood. This bothers me on two counts:
1) It's clearly meant as an expression of her personal "brand," where she attempts to keep up with the smiling-happy-family photos her friends are posting in similar veins. Despite the fact that our childhood was not super happy (and I suspect her friends' weren't, either, but appearances are everything). I resent that she's, in a sense, rewriting history and putting together a master cut of all the smiling moments, then packaging them for her social media followers. This possibly has to do with her career as a PR gal, and her peer group of privileged East Coast sorority girls.
2) They are private photos, taken during private moments, and I never knew or anticipated that they'd be shared with hundreds and hundreds of strangers and acquaintances. I feel this even stronger on behalf of some family members (grandparents) who don't use the internet and have no idea they're being exploited in this way.
The other scenario is that she'll have her iphone out during Christmas or other family gatherings now, and later I'll find that she's posted a handful of photos she's just taken. I'd have hoped to enjoy a private time and not gussy myself up for photos, but it seems like the new normal is that every moment is a potential snapshot, so I should be camera-ready all the time. I hate this. I miss the old days of waking up on Christmas morning and piling into the living room all pajama'd and tangly-haired.
When I bring it up to her, she responds (via text, of course) that "Even though you think me posting pics is rude it comes from a place of love and caring ab you so sorry to offend," and "I'm not changing how I live my life and use social media because you want me to. I'm sorry but no. It's been duly noted now that I need to crop you out of every picture so don't worry I'll be sure to do that going forward." Talking to her on the phone or in person about this is not an option--she shuts down and/or throws up her hands in an appeal to whoever's around, like an "I give up with this nonsense!" gesture that usually hands her the win.
What line of reasoning might work in this discussion? Should I even bother? Is it my curmudgeonly attitude that needs adjusting? Any advice, or similar situations, or solutions, or "snap out of it!"s will be welcome.