Too fast? How fast??
May 22, 2014 9:41 AM Subscribe
I met a lovely woman and I'd like to talk about making the relationship more serious, but I'm completely clueless about norms around this relationship stuff.
posted by meta x zen to Human Relations (18 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I met someone on OkCupid and I need some suggestions about social norms for moving forward. I'm clueless about these things. I was in a very long term relationship that started in my teens and so I'm really brand new to the dating world.
-We had coffee on Tuesday the 10th - hit it off and agreed to see each other again.
-Dinner and coffee on Friday the 13th. Really nice, 4 hours together.
-Spent all day together on Sunday (drove to Woodstock and back) We had a fumbling and adorable kiss at the end of the evening.
-Had a walking around Port Jefferson/Dinner Date last night. We got a little hot and heavy in the making out at the end of the evening.
I'm 31, she's 33. We've both expressed a desire to be in a serious/long-term/marriage relationship ultimately (both in our profiles and in our conversations.)
I really like her. We've been texting non-stop and last night after our little make out session she got very suggestive of wanting to take the physical part of the relationship to the next level. (Pretty much said she wants to get me alone asap.)
So, none of that is a problem. Actually... it's quite awesome. This is where I'm nervous/need some advice/reactions.
I'm not a prude but I'd like to be in some kind of expression of a committed relationship before I'm psychically intimate. Some questions:
- What are commonly accepted words and conventions around the current stage we are in and what I would like to be next? (Is dating correct for this part and would boyfriend/girlfriend be the correct next "level"?)
- How do people in early "dating" talk about getting more serious? (Please use specific examples. I'm tone deaf in this area and generalities aren't what I'm looking for)
- I'd like to say something like, "Hey, I really want to get more physical with you too, but I'm really looking to do that in the context of a committed relationship. How do you feel about that? Is this a relationship you are willing to make __________" I need help with the blank. I'm thinking, 1.) more serious 2.) exclusive 3.) formal.
Of course, please any general comments, experience, thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated. As you can see... I'm hopeless. Help!