How do I act around someone who cancelled last minute?
May 15, 2014 6:57 AM Subscribe
Usually people who have this problem were cancelled on by someone they were dating online or otherwise won't see again, but my problem is that I will see him around a fair bit.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
We are just friends and went out impromptu one night. He is male, I am female. We don't know each other that well, but have a fair number of mutual contacts.
After that night, he asked me out to a meal. I set the date (perhaps too enthusiastically) but then rescheduled the date. He agreed. We did not set a time and place.
I made the mistake of messaging a few times, and didn't notice until too late that he took hours, up to an entire day to reply. I wasn't sure if it was a date or not, but I didn't care either way because I wasn't that keen on dating him.
The day before, I messaged to ask if he was still going the next day. He didn't reply until the day of, where he said he'd fallen sick. I replied cheerily to feel better soon, but I was a little disappointed. He did not reschedule or message me after that.
All this is no problem to me. I don't doubt he has no interest in me. I had no intention of setting any more outings. And I'm not romantically interested in him although I am upset at being cancelled on so unceremoniously. I messaged him a few days later to find out how he was (also to bring some normalcy back into our..."friendship?") because he posted a cryptic status update on the Facebook newsfeed. He hasn't replied for a few days now. I am of course taking this very personally, and as a rejection. I cannot face him now because, well, so awkward.
I don't know what he's thinking, but I don't really care because I'm not that invested. But I have some degree of social awkwardness so I don't really know what to do in every situation. He hangs out where I live (a hostel complex) because he has friends here.
My question is: When I see him, what do I do? I've seen him twice since and I simply pretended I didn't see him. These days I've been cooping myself in my room to avoid seeing him downstairs, and when I go out I feel like I'm afraid to run into him so I just run past the lobby and end up ignoring friends because I don't look at anyone anymore, and it's really cramping my style. To the more socially-adept MeFites, can you please suggest what I should do? I definitely don't want to contact him anymore, and I haven't told anyone about this (nor do I need to talk to anyone about it).