In need of career advice
May 9, 2014 6:18 PM Subscribe
I feel like work is papering the file to fire me. At the same time, I feel hopelessly stuck on what I want to do career-wise. Snowflakes inside.
posted by prunes to Work & Money (9 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Last week I had an unscheduled meeting with my boss and HR contact. The purpose of the meeting was to present me with a formal warning. This warning delineated deficiencies in my work such as poor attention to detail, inadequate responsiveness, and so forth.
Receiving this warning took me by surprise but I maintained my professionalism during the meeting. They asked that I take the memo back to my desk and review it, and after which that I sign it to acknowledge receipt and understanding. I have not yet signed the document, nor has anyone asked.
Most but not all of the examples cited in the memo were from one specific individual. In my opinion most of the items in the memo were blown completely out of proportion. My perception is that management is trying to paper my file so that they can let me go without risk of litigation.
Late last year I went out on leave for anxiety and depression triggered by work stress. I was in an outpatient program and was out of the office for three months. The woman who was responsible for most of the items in the memo is my biggest stressor at work and was a primary factor in my taking leave.
I currently work in finance and I can't stand it. The problem is that I have no idea what to do instead. I don't have anything that I want to do instead. I love computers and technology. Right now I'm learning Haskell. But I don't think that I want to be a programmer. I just don't see a role for myself anywhere. In fact, I have probably more interests than anyone else that I know. But again, I can't see a job for myself in any of them.
I saw a career counselor during the period before I went on leave and found the experience to be a very poor one that did nothing to resolve my feeling of being stuck.
I know these last two paragraphs sound symptomatic of depression, but I can honestly say that I am not in a depressive episode. Maybe call it dysthymia. Regardless, I have felt this way since I graduated college 7 years ago.
I just feel so hopelessly stuck. I want to quit but I have no idea what jobs I would apply to instead. Job hunting is such a difficult task that without a firm goal I don't see how I could do it successfully. Perversely, the best scenario, as I see it, might be if work fires me and I collect unemployment. Then I would be free to job hunt and not feel as pressured financially.
Please help, hive mind.