Help me make sense of my emotions after breakup?
May 7, 2014 10:03 PM Subscribe
After about a year of being on the fence about a five year in total relationship, I ended it a about a week ago. I am surprisingly feeling relieved and free and a lot etter about my life in general, but I feel guilty for being happy. Help me understand?
posted by anon1129 to Human Relations (14 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I am 21 years old and was in a relationship with a good guy since I was 16. He's two years older than me. I was cruelly pretty happy with life when we met, I had a good group of friends and was finally coming into myself I felt. I met my boyfriend and we started dating and I slowly lost my friends. I spent junior and senior year just hanging out with him, and was very depressed, but didn't know why. He didn't have many friends at college and we spent all of our time together. It was unhealthy but I just began understand how u healthy it was like a year ago.
We were eachothers first real serious relationship. I seriously feel like I knew nothing out how to be in a relationship and I've learned a lot, which I'm grateful for.
I feel really guilty and bad about myself because I feel like from an early time in our relationship I knew I didn't want to marry him in my heart, but I spent so much time fighting with Myself thinking that he was a good stable person and was good for me. I started hanging out with some girls from work a year ago and realized what I was missing. I wanted friendship and to be young and do what I want and not be tied down to someone. I broke up with him in the fall but we got back together in January. I missed him, but I think I just missed having a boyfriend. We officially broke up last week after we talked about how we weren't right for each other.
I realized that I couldn't be half in half out anymore, that he deserves someone who was completely committed. After breaking up I feel so peaceful. I feel completely at peace with my decision but feel guilty for being happy while he's probably devastated. I feel guilty for not ending things earlier. Is it normal to already feel completely over him after just a week?
Also, with the end of this relationship I am feeling surprisingly hopeful and refreshed. I am currently about to receive my general transfer studies degree after three years at community college and want to transfer to a local university and feel like this would be a fresh start. I don't know what to major in though. I still live at home currently too but I work two jobs. I have started talking to my old high school friends lately again but they are kind of losers now, all potheads and dropouts and I really want to make new friends. How can I go about capitalizing on this time of change and start to work on gettin my life together?