Should my husband acknowledge his son's graduation?
May 4, 2014 10:15 AM Subscribe
My husband and his ex wife put their only child up for adoption 24 years ago (when he was about a year old). My husband's ex wife reached out to me almost 6 years ago asking if my husband (her ex) wanted to have a relationship with the child they put up for adoption. My husband wanted that opportunity. He reached out to the son several times, received no or limited responses.
posted by getyourlife to Human Relations (32 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Ultimately, my husband and the son met face to face. My husband, our children and I have spent time with the son on several occasions.
I described in a previous post that, it seems, as far as the adopted son is concerned, my husband is "out of sight, out of mind". Unless my husband initiates contact with the son, we don't exist. He has grown to accept that that is the best he can get from the son.
I was/am facebook friends with the son. I deactivated my facebook page at the beginning of the year. I just signed in for the first time since January. I see that the son is graduating from college tomorrow. The adopted family will no doubt be there. I see that his biological mom and that side of his biological family will be there, as well.
My husband has heard nothing from the son since he wished him Happy Easter a couple of weeks ago. He asked how he was doing and how school was going. The son said everything was going great, told my husband he'd made an A on a big test. The son asked how everyone was here. That's the normal pattern of their communication.
My husband was not shocked, but still hurt to see the graduation is tomorrow and no mention was made to him about it. He understands not being invited to the graduation or family celebrations surrounding the son's graduation. However, he would have liked the chance acknowledge it in some way.
The son didn't mention it in the recent exchange with my husband. The only reason he knows is because I logged on to my facebook page, for a completely unrelated reason. Given all this information, my husband is wondering if he should acknowledge the son's graduation at all?