Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space
May 1, 2014 1:21 PM Subscribe
Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me.
posted by json12 to Human Relations (22 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
So I have been dating this girl for a year now. We really had good first few months. But recently we have had lot of problems and causing issues with our relationship.
Background: She is a independent women who has her own place and works full time. While Im graduating in few weeks and looking for a full time job. I also live with my parents. Were both 24.
Issues: It all started few months ago when I really got clingy and wanted to spend more time with her. So when she was out with her friends at a bar, I went there to see her because I though she would be ok with that (Some of my friends were there also). But again let me specify I went there to see her because I wanted to do everything together when things started getting serious between us. In the beginning I was cool when she went out and she also included me when she went out with her friends and I called her when I went out with mine. Anyways, that night she accused me following her and broke up with me. She started crying on a street and wanted me to leave. Anyways, she broke up with me for a month over that. I was really miserable in that months time.
But after a month or so of no contact, she contacted me and told me that Im still the guy for her and wants to see me again. So we started dating again and I felt that everything would be normal again and we would spend more time. But every time she went out with her friends, I got jealous that she didn't call me but then I asked her whenever I went out with my friends. Anyways we went out for another months and she started getting depressed about her work because it was miserable. She also felt that our relationship wasn't going anywhere even tho I promised that I will support her when I get a full time job. The whole year I was dating, I was always at her apartment. She worked all day and got back at night and I would be there. I tried to offer her help by doing things for her around the house to make things better for her. I even offered her to quit her weekend job (yes she worked 7 days a week) and I can help her pay for some of the stuff. But she said that's not what she wants and asked for space again for few days but never got back to me until I contacted her.
She said she was feeling happier since I was gone and she spent time with her friends. This really bothered me because I felt like she wasn't happy when she was with me in a relationship. I also felt like all the stuff that I did for her was part of it. Gave her what she wanted. Anyways she told me that she loved me and that we should work on ourselves. So I asked if she wanted to break up and she said no but she wanted to be left alone for couple more weeks. So I said ok. But she contacts me again within a week saying that her birthday is coming up and she wants to spend time with me. So we hung out on her birthday and spent that weekend together even though she wanted to be left alone. Anyways, few days after her birthday, I asked her if she wants to spend the weekend and go somewhere. She said she is going out with her friends on those two days. We had a lil argument the same day and she said she wants to be alone for few weeks but still loves me. I asked her that I want break for a week not more then that and she said we'll see.
We are at different points in our lives right now and she said that she is depressed because she realized that she is not where she wants to be in life. She wants to settle down and be a house wife. I promised her that and she can come with me wherever I get a job. But right now she just hates where she works and she doesn't think that things will get better at all. That is part of why she is depressed. I also feel sad that she keeps wanting space from me like this.
I really have no clue what to do and feel lost.