Give up financial stability to move where you'd prefer to be?
April 30, 2014 10:09 AM Subscribe
My heart says one thing, but my head says another, and I am paralyzed in making any kind of decision. I need help, thoughts, opinions, anything.
posted by umwhat to Work & Money (44 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
My fiance and I are both in our early-mid 30s. We live in Colorado. Right now, we each make enough money that if one of us lost our job, the other could support both of us and pay the mortgage just fine. We save a lot each month, live well below our means, contribute a lot to retirement, are able to donate often, and rarely need to worry about money (I do, all the time, regardless). He likes his job, and mine is largely unfulfilling but more or less stress-free. We live in the best spot in the country for our jobs, and would likely not find the same financial stability elsewhere. My job is permanent.
The only issue is we live 1,000 miles from my close-knit immediate family in the Bay Area. I miss them terribly, and the thought of being this far away from them for the foreseeable future tears me up. I always cry when I leave them, and I am tearing up thinking about this now, even though I just saw them two weeks ago and will see them again in a month. (This is a rare year - usually I see them three or four times a year.) I miss the ocean, and I'd like our hopefully soon future children to grow up around family (he is from the East Coast). I have always loved the area, and would have never left if it weren't for grad school.
My fiance has been unofficially offered a job near my family. The job would be interesting and is a slight career change, but a good change. The pay would be more than he makes now, but not enough for us to have the same lifestyle we have now, even if I were able to find the exact same paying job there (this is very unlikely). I was just looking at housing prices, and I don't know if we could even afford a condo- it would be tight- not to mention not putting as much away for retirement, etc.
I've made a pro and con list, I spend all of my free time obsessing over this, and I am making no headway. I think I need some outside, neutral thoughts. (He is fine with whatever I decide, but he wants a decision so they can start talking officially. He has also said he wants me to be happy, and he knows I am happier there than here.) Please help me get some rest. Is one choice obvious, or what am I missing?