I just can't talk to people, and I'm so depressed.
April 27, 2014 4:16 PM Subscribe
9.5/10 times, I struggle with talking to people, even my own friends and family. Even my own parents sometimes. As a result my life is a life of constant pain and loneliness, even when I am with my friends and family. I can't hold conversations because my mind is too blank to start one or add anything other than "yeah, uh-huh" to a preexisting conversation. Talking to people one on one is a constant nightmare because I am incapable of holding up my part of the conversation or starting one. As a result, I always feel very uncomfortable around one on one conversations and always fear being caught in one.
posted by ggp88 to Human Relations (31 answers total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
My blankness of anything to say extends beyond social situations however. I don't know what to do most of the time in my free time so I usually do something unproductive instead. I don't know how to make plans for the future because I have no clear desires other than to stop hurting and be able to make friends (and actually freaking connect with the ones I have) and be in a relationship with a woman. Everything else pales in urgency and doesn't at all pique my motivation enough to follow them.
I feel so passive and weak. I feel like I have no real agency in life. I feel like a guy who is in desperate need of testosterone replacement therapy. I feel like I just want to get under a blanket, cry, and go to sleep.
I am terrified that this is how I am going to be for the rest of my life. Because, I'm being honest here, this is not even close to a life worth living.
I just feel like I'm weighed down and my mind hurts. I'm just feeling gloomy. My life is not what I want it to be, and I don't know how to get to where I want to be. I don't know if I can. Sometimes, I just want it to end. I just want to tuck away and hide from the toxic world of pain. Sometimes, I even entertain the idea of death, if only for a fleeting moment before shaking it off.
I just want to be happy. I just want to be able to enjoy my life without the constant pain. I want to be rescued from this so bad, but I don't know if it's possible.
What is the best course of action for getting better? What is the best kind of therapy?