What details could be worked out before having a child with a friend?
April 23, 2014 7:46 AM Subscribe
I am considering having a child with a friend to whom I am not married. We would be living separately, but would have joint legal and physical custody. What might be some details that we should work out ahead of time?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (29 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Obviously there’s the legal component of custody. There are other things like: whose insurance covers the child before and after birth; how the parents will make decisions; how we will financially support the child; how we deal with holidays; and what happens when one or both of us find new partners/spouses.
But what else? Certainly there are things that we’d have to decide, but not now, like where the child would go to school. I’m looking for things that we could discuss and decide now, at least as an initial proposition.
At least for the scope of this AskMe, I’m not interested in feedback on the choice to have a child with a friend. (That hasn’t been decided yet. Negotiating all of these details is part of our discernment process.) Rather, I’m specifically looking for what details, given the hypothetical fact of two friends having a child, should be considered before having the child.