I grew up lower-middle class in Mexico. I've always known what I want out of life, and I've worked hard to get to where I wanted to be. I have a strong work ethic, and I attempt to find satisfaction in any task I am given, no matter how unpleasant.
My husband grew up in an upper middle class household. When we married, he held strong anarcho-communist ideals and this dissatisfaction with society has followed him since. He struggles with the thought of working meaningless jobs to make someone else richer, the thought of work fueling life rather than the other way around. If it was up to him, he'd live in a society where everyone works in what they're skilled in to their best of their ability. However, and unfortunately for him, we don't live in the society that he wishes to live in. This disparity makes him angry and generally unsatisfied with life. I do not necessarily agree with his worldview, but I respect it. He doesn't seem to agree with my work ethic; he finds it sad that I'm essentially a happy slave of society. He says that he's "angry on my behalf".
When we married, he didn't know what he wanted to do with life. We decided that I would work and study while he found out what he enjoyed in life, something he could hopefully make a career out of. He flipflopped around a few majors in college, and eventually found applied math, which he enjoys. He is almost done with his degree, and he's found work within his college as a lab monitor. However, with college ending and the "real world" fast approaching, we've tried to hold conversations discussing jobs and such. And he's started to say things like his ideal job is one that doesn't make him want to kill himself, or that he wants to find a manual work that exhausts him enough that he has no time to think, or a job where he has to do next to nothing (similar to what he has at the moment). I'm alarmed at these thoughts, and suggested counseling. He will not go to counseling, and when I asked him to tell me why, he linked me to this article
. He also said that he thinks there's nothing wrong with the way he thinks, and likes himself just the way he is. Eventually, he just said that he wants me to carry on with my goals and dreams, and he'll just be along for the ride. One past argument had him telling me that he would get a job and do everything I wanted him to do, pretend to enjoy his life and work, and once we were old and grey he would tell me it was all a farce. While these were words said in anger, they still come up in my thoughts often. I don't want to force him to work along with my goals. That's a horrible life to lead! If he finds no joy in his work, and I'm forcing him to do something he truly doesn't want to do, that'll only lead him to resent me.
I'm currently in therapy and medication for anxiety. My therapist's take in it is that life is taking us in separate paths, and I need to consider separation. But that seems like giving up. He's a kind, loving man. I want nothing more than to see him happy; if I didn't, I would
just carry on and let him follow. What do I do? How do I come to terms with this seemingly massive rift?