Do I have an online stalker (or more than one)?

October 24, 2005 4:40 PM

Weird Situation: Strange spamming technique, a case of mistaken identity, or something else entirely? You tell me.

I have a fairly common last name (we'll go with Smith for the purpose of clarity). I have a gmail address that is [e-mail] (using my actual first and last name) and a Backpack account in my real name. I also have an anonymous blog, which ties to an anonymous Flickr account. The blog and Flickr account are in no way associated with my real name. So...

This all started when I recieved an email at my gmail address that appeared to be from a church mailing list. It was mailed directly to me and several other email addresses. However, it is not a church I have anything to do with, so I deleted it. A few weeks ago I recieved a random email at my gmail account from someone we'll call "Bob Smith" that I do not know. The email did not contain any text, just some family photos. I figured the guy had just mistyped the email address, so I kindly emailed him back and told him he had the wrong person. I never got a reply. A week or so later, I get an online greeting card at my gmail account from "Jane Smith". I don't respond this time. A few weeks after that, I get a notice that someone has shared a Backpack page with me - it's "Bob Smith" again. I delete the shared Backpack page.

Now here's where it gets weird. Today, I get 2 messages on my Flickr account - one saying "Jane Smith" has shared her photos with me, and one saying "Jane Smith" as added me as a contact. I was not surprised to find that "Jane Smith" has "Bob Smith" as a contact on Flickr. The weird part is how did they find me on Flickr? As I said before, my Flickr account is in no way tied to my real name. I do use my gmail account on Flickr, but it is set to not share with anyone.

So, what is going on here? At first I thought it was just a case of mistaken identity resulting from a common last name, but now I'm not so sure. Is this some kind of weird spamming technique? None of the emails have contained sales pitches of any kind. Are Bob and Jane Smith just plugging my gmail address into sites like Flickr and Backpack to see if they get a hit? And if not, how did they find me on Flickr even though my email is hidden? FWIW, these people seem to be based in the UK, whereas I am in the US.

At first it was just weird, but now I'm getting a little creeped out.

posted by geeky to Computers & Internet (9 answers total)

Speculation: is there somewhere in your flickr account where you can "add a flickr contact," but then add them either by username or email? Then, even though your email is private, the flickr system matched the email with your account and sent you the contact request.
posted by rafter at 4:51 PM on October 24, 2005

What rafter said. You can search for people by email address and they'll show up, even if the email address is checked as available to none.

I get personal gmail sent to my account all the time that was intended for someone else. It's pretty interesting, actually.
posted by undertone at 5:32 PM on October 24, 2005

Have you looked at their Backpack/Flickr pages? If it's some sort of new-style Spam, my money would be on driving traffic somewhere. Follow the links.
posted by mkultra at 5:37 PM on October 24, 2005

Response by poster: mkultra, I have followed the links. I haven't found any spam, just the fact that these people are in the UK.

OK, so say this is a case of mistaken identity. Why didn't the first email alerting "Bob" to that fact have any effect then?
posted by geeky at 5:41 PM on October 24, 2005

Ironically, your email to him may have been swallowed by his SPAM filter.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:11 PM on October 24, 2005

Why didn't the email have any effect? I think it's because many people are kind of stupid with their email accounts.

I have a short (five letter) hotmail address which isn't `Tomble' but isn't far off it either. I repeatedly get wrong mail, and not just from people who are trying to email someone, but from people who, say, register software and then enter my email address instead of theirs.

My MSN messenger is FULL of people who add me, yet don't know me, and spend all of their time messaging me things like "HU DIS?" and other linguistic delights.

So, put it down to people making mistakes.
posted by tomble at 7:17 PM on October 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

I have [e-mail] and frequently get misdirected emails from all sorts of people, pictures, powerpoint presentations, attempted booty calls. But I haven't gotten the weird stuff with blogs or flickr.

I'd reckon it's just folks making mistakes.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 7:51 PM on October 24, 2005

I think, without a doubt it's a case of mistaken identity. Someone with your name must have told Bob and Jane that his email address was [e-mail]. Or else Bob and Jane wrote it down wrong, etc.

On Flikr, you can share your photos by inputing the email address of your friends - this appears to have been what happened here. I think you should try to email Bob and Jane again and to clear up the situation.
posted by peppermint22 at 8:09 PM on October 24, 2005

Response by poster: OK, I'm emailing once again to tell them they have the wrong person. Hopefully it'll stick this time. If it were just mistaken emails, I wouldn't be that bothered by it, but the fact that they have looked me up on both Backpack and Flickr now I find a little creepy. Then again, I am extremely protective of my online privacy.

And does anyone else think it's odd that even if your email is hidden in Flickr, people can still find you with it?
posted by geeky at 8:20 PM on October 24, 2005