I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this.
Gay man here, out at work. I recently went on a date with a co-worker who, towards the end of the date, told me his brother had just been diagnosed with brain cancer. He thought his brother was a fighter and would be around a long time. Friday that week he left town to visit his brother, and came back Tuesday of last week.
My co-worker isn't out at work. We work in different departments, on different floors. Last week I kept meaning to ask about his brother whenever I ran into him--which usually happens a few times a week, sometimes as we're leaving--but I never ran into him. This weekend I was beating myself up about not creating some ruse to visit his office, and I went by first thing this morning.
He's out this week on bereavement leave.
Looking at it realistically, the relationship is probably over. That was a horrible time not to follow through, regardless of any reasons.
Still, I want to support him in whatever way possible. Things are complicated by the fact that we'd only just started dating and I don't know what he wants from the relationship. I have no way to contact him except at work--I don't have his email address or phone number and he's not on social media.
It's probably a one in one billion chance, but if he's still interested in a relationship, I wouldn't mind seeing where it goes. But I absolutely do not want to take advantage of him.
So regardless of whatever he wants, or even if he doesn't know what he wants, I'm not sure what to say or do. Whatever happens, I don't want to cause him any more
As you can guess, I'm not very good with social situations, and would love some advice.
Yes, I've seen this question. I don't think it's the same: he's not stonewalling me, and I don't think he might be lying.