Are you my family?

October 24, 2005 9:58 AM

I have reason to believe I may have a half-sibling from Frankfurt Germany or surrounds. How do I find out for sure?

My father was stationed in Frankfurt in 1966 and 1967 while in the US Army. When he was returned to the US, we believe he left behind a child. His military records have nothing in them about this. (Mom has copies.) I, of course, have all the information about my father but none of the information about who he may have left behind. I wish I could get an answer from my father but that is not possible.

posted by onhazier to Human Relations (2 answers total)

Best answer: My father and uncle, both military guys, got sick of each other (long story) and stopped talking around the same time period. The thing is, my dad told me virtually nothing about his side of my family so I've always been into genealogy, trying to figure it out. A few years ago I joined a surname specific group, and the group moderator sent back and email, CC'd to someone, saying we had similar ancestry and asking if we were related.

My cousins didn't even know I existed, but they had been doing the same thing. We had some of the same pictures and ones the others had never seen. I barely talk to them now, but we caught up, shared what we know, and keep in touch. Kinda like family, I hope (its new to me).

Going in that direction is probably a good direction, especially if you have any reason at all to think the child knows your father's name. If you make some genealogy contacts in Germany you might be able to find someone who can look at birth records there, though privacy laws probably prohibit it so that isn't as easy as it sounds.

If your really into finding this person, and the title of your post sounds like you are, and no one descends to help you, what worked for me was figuring out exactly what I knew, "gaming" out all of the possibilities from that, and following each to their conclusion. So in one you've a person who doesn't know their father's surname. In another, they only know the surname or perhaps the first name, or both. Each is going to demand different directions:

surname only: try the surname specific sites

first name only: military hangouts such as a military brats site - someone there might remember something, etc...

A lot of the means you think up are going to be applicable to a number of the research directions so don't be afraid to sit at something pounding possibilities in. The infuriating part of it all is 2 years after you've given up on one path, discovering a new method or resource, and then having to take that path up again.

In the end I found my family through what seems like luck, but it was really because I found the right person who happened to be the connection. That's why people like Ask Mefi too. So don't be afraid to meet people while your doing this. Your going to need them, even if you don't think so when you first meet them.

Good luck! My email address is in my profile if you want to talk more.

posted by jwells at 10:30 AM on October 24, 2005

You say asking your father isn't an option. What about other relatives? He may have confided at some point in a sibling, or even your mother (or she may have sussed out additional clues on her own). Ditto for his buddies--is there anyone he might have talked to about who he was seeing back then?

Financial records might also provide a clue if you have access to those. Maybe you can trace the child back through a money transfer to Germany (for the child, the mother, a doctor, school, etc.).

Do his military records or letters mention the names of others in his unit? If you can track them down, someone might be able to fill in additional details.

There is of course the option to hire a private investigator.

Good luck.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 11:08 AM on October 24, 2005